OUT OF CONTEXT: This headline has been recycled to combat global yawning

The Atlantic magazine is on to a trend: People around the world have been debating how to cook lobsters humanely since scientists have discovered that shellfish can feel pain.

New Zealand includes shellfish in its animal rights laws, and at least one Italian town bans throwing live lobsters into a pot of boiling water.

And Brits electrocute their lobsters — but, shockingly, not their mobsters.

It seems to me that if you’re worried about hurting the lobster you’re planning to eat, you’re not really that hungry.

Of course, if you’re really squeamish about killing a lobster, you could wait for it to die a natural death — between 80 to 150 years. While you’re waiting, try the veal.

With all this debate over how to kill a lobster, I’m glad that I don’t have to resolve any ethical concerns about my favorite food — bacon.

•••


The long wait is over. A Gallup poll of Republican voters shows that Mitt Romney is the front-runner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination.

About 26 percent of GOP voters picked Romney, the former governor of Massachusetts, to head the ticket, and 21 percent picked Sarah Palin, the soon-to-be former governor of Alaska.

About 19 percent preferred Mike Huckabee, former governor of Arkansas, and 14 percent opted for Newt Gingrich, former speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Who says there’s nothing for an out-of-work politician to do? There’s hope for you, Rod Blagojevich!

I’d been having trouble sleeping, and I just realized it’s because there wasn’t a front-runner for the Republican nomination — three years from now. I should sleep much better tonight. Thanks, Gallup.

Sarah Palin received the highest favorability rating among Republicans taking the poll — 71 percent. So she might not have to go maverick or rogue to get her message out, as long as she doesn’t let the RNC pick her wardrobe.

•••

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About the Author
Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...

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