- The Washington Times - Wednesday, June 3, 2009

“Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

Mama called the Doctor and the Doctor said,

‘No more monkeys jumping on the bed!’”

These familiar words from Eileen Christelow’s children’s book “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” nearly disrupted a quiet and dignified meeting between Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor and Sen. Jeff Sessions, Alabama Republican.

G2 spotted a bevy of reporters at the Russell Senate Office Building (including CNN’s Dana Bash and The Washington Times’ very own Joe Curl) camped outside Mr. Sessions’s office waiting for Judge Sotomayor to emerge from the meeting.

Meanwhile, right around the corner, Sen. Tom Harkin, Iowa Democrat, and Sen. Richard M. Burr, North Carolina Republican, were reading “Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed” to about 100 schoolchildren at an event for Everybody Wins! DC, a local nonprofit organization that was honoring both lawmakers as well as their staffs for their commitment to children’s literacy.

To get the grade schoolers engaged in the book, the organizers of the event invited them to scream at the top of their lungs, “No more monkeys jumping on the bed” when the senators got to the refrain. The doors to the room were left open, allowing the howls to echo down the cavernous halls.

Needless to say, the shouts caught the attention of the scribes on Sotomayor duty. “Several reporters laughed at the odd sound of children screaming, and a few walked down to see what the fuss was about,” Mr. Curl recalls.

No word on how Mr. Sessions and Judge Sotomayor felt about the high-decibel reading, but Mr. Harkin couldn’t have been prouder of the racket he helped foment. “We livened up the halls of Congress with a little bit of noise, and we celebrated another year in a fantastic program that enriches the lives of both the mentors and the students,” he said.

Botox bailout

Do unemployment, possible foreclosure and government takeovers have you furrowing your brows?

Don’t you fret, because we have learned that the local aesthetics company Reveal MedSpa LLC is offering free Botox injections at Pentagon Row this Friday to “cut back on crow’s feet” and smooth away those “one week’s notice lines” prominent on the faces of the gainfully unemployed.

The treatments, which cost between $300 and $500, are being offered gratis to the first 50 people who can prove unemployment. “A current resume will be requested before services are provided,” says Reveal spokeswoman Marie Manning.

Ms. Manning explains that the event will feature job recruiters to help with valuable interviewing and networking tips as you and your newly refreshed forehead hit the pavement again.

The Botox injections, however, will be done by doctors, not headhunters.

Beauty can be painful, but it should not be dangerous.

Fashion updates

As recently reported by G2, Michelle Obama will be in absentia when she is awarded the Board of Directors Tribute at the Council of Fashion Designers of America gala, the fashion industry’s Academy Awards, June 15 in New York City.

There were some reports that White House social secretary and first fashionista Desiree Rogers would attend and accept the award on Mrs. Obama’s behalf.

Well, she’ll skip the event too, according to the first lady’s press office. A replacement is being hunted down, but in the event one can’t be found, the CFDA confirms that Mrs. Obama has recorded a video message from the White House to be played for the gala’s attendees.

In other fashion news, G2 has learned that one of Mrs. Obama’s favorite designers, “Project Runway” judge Michael Kors, will present his 2009 fall collection at Nordstrom in Tysons Corner on June 18, complete with cocktails and a runway show.

The striking pink dress worn by Mrs. Obama to the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner was designed by Mr. Kors, as were other dresses worn by the first lady on her trip to Europe in April.

To contact Stephanie Green and Elizabeth Glover, e-mail undercover@washingtontimes.com.

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