- Obama military downsizing leaves U.S. too weak to counter global threats, panel finds
- Sen. Tom Coburn vows to slow down budget-busting bills ahead of recess
- Obama fantasizes about more executive power, signs new order on federal contractors
- Clintons call Klein, Halper, Kessler ‘a Hat Trick of despicable actors’: report
- Boehner accuses Obama of ‘legacy of lawlessness’
- Pro-marijuana group claims responsibility for Brooklyn Bridge flag swap
- Young adults shun Obamacare mostly due to cost: survey
- Stabbing attack on transgender girl, 15, was ‘bias motivated,’ police say
- LGBT adults still lean overwhelmingly toward Democratic Party
- Lawmakers rattled by Syria genocide horrors, call on Obama to act
OUT OF CONTEXT: To sleep, perchance to breathe; ay, there’s the snore
Question of the Day
Luckily, sleep scientists have developed machines that force air into your face to keep you from snoring.
They fit you with a mask, not unlike the one Hannibal Lecter wears to keep him from eating people in “The Silence of the Lambs,” and the machine forces air into your nose.
It’s scuba gear for bedtime!
I’ll get fitted for one this week. It makes me wish I was back in school, because I’d be one of the cool kids with the Darth Vader bedtime respirator and night light. Can’t wait for my first sleepover!
• You can reach Carleton Bryant at 202/636-3218 and email@example.com — but only if you wake him slowly.
About the Author
Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...
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