- Beretta leaves Maryland over gun laws, heads for Tennessee
- Neal Boortz defends Hillary Clinton for representing child rapist
- House task force to recommend National Guard on border, faster deportations
- Top federal judge uses pizza to explain complex Obamacare situation
- Obama, Biden overhaul job training programs
- Drought-plagued Californians turn to paint to keep lawns green
- ISIL now forcing Iraqi shopkeepers to veil mannequins in Mosul
- 11 parents of Nigeria’s abducted girls die
- Genetic mapping triggers new hope on schizophrenia
- Turkish P.M. Erdogan won’t speak to Obama, but he’ll take calls from Biden
OUT OF CONTEXT: You have reached the end of the magazine. Please exit in an orderly manner
Question of the Day
She’s very moody. He’s very pale. She’s self-absorbed. He’s undead.
Luckily, they both live in the Pacific Northwest, where that sort of thing is tolerated.
Anyway, they fall in love — making them the first two people ever to do that, at least in the Pacific Northwest.
But they just can’t get together.
I think it’s the age difference. She’s about 18, and he’s about 108, which means he’s old enough to be her dad.
So they just spend a lot of time looking mopey at each other because, let’s face it, being young and beautiful is a bummer.
That’s the plot of “Twilight.”
“New Moon” is kinda like that, except there’s a werewolf in it too. Without a shirt.
That’s what I’m all about.
• You can reach Carleton Bryant at 202/636-3218 and email@example.com — but only if your name is not Jon or Kate.
About the Author
Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...
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