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She’s very moody. He’s very pale. She’s self-absorbed. He’s undead.

Luckily, they both live in the Pacific Northwest, where that sort of thing is tolerated.

Anyway, they fall in love — making them the first two people ever to do that, at least in the Pacific Northwest.

But they just can’t get together.

I think it’s the age difference. She’s about 18, and he’s about 108, which means he’s old enough to be her dad.

So they just spend a lot of time looking mopey at each other because, let’s face it, being young and beautiful is a bummer.

That’s the plot of “Twilight.”

“New Moon” is kinda like that, except there’s a werewolf in it too. Without a shirt.

Information.

That’s what I’m all about.

You can reach Carleton Bryant at 202/636-3218 and cbryant@washingtontimes.com — but only if your name is not Jon or Kate.

About the Author
Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant

Carleton Bryant is the assistant managing editor for strategic planning and development/special projects for The Washington Times. He previously served as The Times’ Metropolitan desk editor, Features desk editor and an assistant National desk editor, as well as a National and Metropolitan reporter. He currently writes a humor blog and weekly humor column — both titled “Out of Context” — ...

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