- The Washington Times - Sunday, September 20, 2009

WCBS-TV’s Web site has a photo slide show titled “World’s Most Useless Facts.” I just love it because in this business, you tend to collect a lot of useless facts — and it’s nice to see them all in one place.

Here’s a sampling (with my comments):

• The first soup ever made was made from hippo meat. (They know this because nobody has ever eaten it. By the way, the first fruitcake also was made from hippo meat.)

• The average adult produces about a half liter of intestinal gas a day, resulting in about 14 occurrences of flatulence a day. (I am the above-average adult.)

• Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. (That’s just her maiden name. Her complete full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts Hefner Castro Blagojevich Gosselin. Yeah, you could say she’s made some mistakes.)

• Hundreds of years ago, only the wealthy wore underwear. (Back then, most people went commando because it was a more violent time.)

• It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (Apparently it is impossible to urinate that way too — at least, for my son.)

• A slug has four noses. (And every one of them is runny.)

• The sensitivity of a woman’s middle finger is reduced during certain times in her reproductive cycle. (This explains my wife’s display of her middle finger whenever I mention her in my column.)

• Research shows that plants grow healthier when they’re stroked. (One of the researchers got too involved with a subject of the study. He married a fern. They’ve started a garden together.)

• Uranus has 27 moons. (I’m not going there.)

• Tony the Tiger has a wife, a son (Tony Jr.) and a daughter (Antoinette) who were in early commercials for Frosted Flakes. (Unfortunately, Tony ate the rest of his family while trying to maintain a strict diet. “They’re GR-R-REAT!” he said.)

• A passionate kiss burns 6.4 calories per minute. (Do NOT tell my personal trainer. He’s nuts about burning calories. And he’s got a mustache.)

• The first toilet being flushed in a motion picture was in the movie “Psycho.” (Yeah, that’s what I remember about that movie — the toilet flushing scene. Scary.)

• A turtle can breathe through its butt. (Um … I’m speechless.)

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