- - Monday, August 9, 2010


Sen. John McCain and Sen. Tom Coburn just released a report on more of Fedzilla’s insane and wasteful blowtorching of our tax dollars on things we don’t need or want and only someone mentally deranged would allow. After reading an article that illuminated the most wasteful examples of torching our tax dollars, I’m surprised my request for a federal grant to study gopher hunting with grenades on the White House lawn was denied. Seemed like such a gimme.

Instead of providing after-school guinea-pig woodchipper basketball for rural farm children, Fedzilla shoveled 2 million of our tax dollars into a fire pit so the California Academy of Sciences could send photographers to the Southwest Indian Ocean and to East Africa to take pictures of ants. That’s right, ants.

Seventy-two thousand more of our hard-earned tax dollars were given to Wake University so students could set it on fire by studying how monkeys react when stoned on cocaine. Read the Kurt Cobain story. It’s been done.

If that isn’t insulting enough, Georgia State University received almost $700,000 to determine how monkeys and chimps respond to “distributional inequality” and “unfairness.” Rumor has it that Koko the gorilla responded “yes” by pressing a blue button when asked if she thought the study was discriminatory because gorillas were not included. King Kong could not be reached for comment.

A half-million more of our tax dollars were torched recently by replacing windows in a Mount St. Helens visitors center that was closed nearly three years ago because of a lack of interest. Maybe Fedzilla could see fit to hire me for $250,000 to study how fast I could break out all the windows with a slingshot and a bag of a marbles while wearing a live, rabid badger as a loincloth.

Fedzilla set fire to 7.3 million more of our tax dollars on two San Antonio fire stations that the good residents of that city already had agreed to pay for. Now that Fedzilla has entered the picture, the fire stations have not been built because of so many typical Fedzilla conflicting and confusing regulations. I would much rather have seen 7.3 million of our tax dollars used to set a mountainous stack of Fedzilla regulations on fire in front of the Alamo and invited the entire city out for a hotdog and marshmallow roast.

Sixty-two million of our tax dollars went up in smoke to build a light-rail system in Pittsburgh that connects two sports stadiums and a casino. Even Gov. Edward Rendell, a Democrat, called the project a “tragic mistake” in 2009. Imagine that - a Fedzilla project being a tragic mistake.

This mind-boggling report is just the latest in a long line of mind-boggling reports that have identified how Fedzilla torches hundreds and hundreds of millions of our tax dollars in the most bizarre, illogical, unaccountable ways.

Martin Gross wrote a wonderful, albeit outrageous, book a few years ago titled “The Government Racket: Washington Waste From A to Z” that identified dozens and dozens of costly and wasteful Fedzilla projects. Buy this book, send it to your congressman and demand a book report.

The reason Fedzilla can set our tax dollars on fire with reckless abandon is because there is zero accountability in the District of Clowns. They have completely lost touch with ordinary Americans who sent them to the stinky Pelosi Swamp to spend our money wisely and judiciously. Instead, gobs of our tax dollars are wasted or lost, which is standard operating procedure by these out-of-touch Fedzilla pigs.

America’s internal anger radiator is boiling over. Good. I personally operate at maximum volume and efficiency when my anger meter is pegged. Tea Party, America?

I’m like a bad dream to Fedzilla. However, when Fedzilla wakes up, the nightmarish dream becomes a reality. Real Americans like the Tea Partiers and me won’t go away, and the New Nuge Ultra-Anger Express Train is picking up steam. Hop on and get angry.

It’s our job.

Ted Nugent is an unstoppable American rock ‘n’ roll, sporting and political activist icon. He is author of “Ted, White & Blue: The Nugent Manifesto” and “God, Guns and Rock ‘N’ Roll” (Regnery Publishing).

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