SIMMONS: Leave fitness to families

They all weighed in this week. President Obama. First lady Michelle Obama. Private industry.

They are training their sights on childhood obesity with a coordinated battle of the bulge.

The question is: What will parents do?

American children are spuds to the couch potato generation. As television screens in family basements and great rooms grow larger, waistlines, thighs and derrieres follow suit. After all, what’s a body to do?

Leave it to the Obama administration to dip into an area where it has no business. The president whipped out his official pen yesterday to sign an official White House memo — ahem: memorandum that says the federal government “is committed to redoubling our efforts to solve the problem of childhood obesity within a generation through a comprehensive approach that builds on effective strategies, engages families and communities, and mobilizes both public and private sector resources.”

Call me naive, but when Washington pledges to redouble its efforts to solve health, education or welfare issues, it’s time to clip the purse strings and hide cash in the Caymans.

Look, we know we’re overweight, and we know why.

Physical education and gym class? No longer mandatory.

Home economics and health education? No longer mandatory.

If we’re not careful, the next generation of children the very ones the Obamas et al are targeting will not only be fat but fat and wimpy.

Kids can play football and hockey but not dodgeball. Dodgeball is too violent, critics cry.

Kids can play smash-mouth video games for hours on end and listen to sexed-up music, but the game of tag is banned from school playgrounds and community recreation centers. Tag is too violent, critics say.

Mrs. Obama, who is admirable for opening the White House to youthful gardeners and a melange of chefs and cooks, sounded sincere Tuesday when she spoke with Robin Roberts of “Good Morning America” about the high stakes.

But Mrs. Obama and the president turned me into a cuticle-biting Nervous Nellie when they said they want to “eliminate … childhood obesity in a generation.”

“We want to eliminate this problem of childhood obesity in a generation. We want to get that done,” she said. “We want our kids to face a different and more optimistic future in terms of their lifespan.”

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