- The Washington Times - Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The recent World Cup in South Africa introduced us to a Paul, a German octopus with the remarkable ability to forecast the results of games. In this list, we honor the leggy mollusk, along with other great psychics and mediums who have captured our imagination and hard-earned cash.

  • Paul the Octopus - From his tank at the Sea Life Aquarium in the German city of Oberhausen, Paul correctly predicted the outcomes of all seven of Germany’s games plus the Spain-Netherlands World Cup final. Paul has now retired and joined the cast of “SpongeBob SquarePants.”
  • Johnny Smith - Actor Christopher Walken played a psychic in the “The Dead Zone.” Pity he didn’t foresee his dreadful role as “Feng” in the 2007 dud “Balls of Fury,” about professional ping-pong players.
  • Uri Geller - At the age of four he started bending spoons at the dinner table. The Israeli nightclub performer once stopped a cable car in mid-air using only the power of his mind. He befriended Michael Jackson and resurrected a bunch of dead people for the King of Pop’s famous “Thriller” video.
  • Michael de Nostradame (Nostradamus) - Born in 1503, in France, the prophet of doom is said to have predicted the French Revolution, the rise of Hitler, the assassination of John F. Kennedy and the BP oil spill.
  • Jeanne Dixon - She predicted the Soviets would beat the U.S. to the moon and that World War III would begin in 1958. Popularly known for her prediction of the premature death of President John F Kennedy. She was an advisor to Nancy Reagan, but failed to predict the attempted assassination of President Reagan. Go figure.
  • Miss Cleo - A self-proclaimed psychic and shaman, Youree Dell Harris lured us with her infomercial for the Psychic Friends Network in the late 1990s and early 2000s. She claimed she was from Jamaica but was born in Los Angeles. She was sued by the State of Florida for deceptive advertising.
  • Oda Mae Brown - Played by Whoopi Goldberg in the movie “Ghost.” “You’re white. I knew it. Why me?” she says as she channels Patrick Swayze’s character Sam. She’s still in touch with the late great “Dirty Dancing” star, who will reprise his role in “Ghost II.”
  • Melinda Gordon - Actress Jennifer Love Hewitt plays a medium in the “Ghost Whisperer,” who helps earthbound spirits resolve their problems. Easily the most beautiful spiritualist of all time. It’s rumored she won the TV role after telling a Hollywood studio chief: ” ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer,’ and it wasn’t with your wife.”
  • Fiver - The psychic rabbit in the famed book “Watership Down,” Fiver never got much credit for his frightening vision of the warren’s destruction in the English tale. After a nasty bout with myxomatosis he went to work for Duracell Batteries.
  • The Oracle at Delphi - A priestess named Pythia sat on a tripod over a fuming opening in the Earth and consulted the ancients Greeks, Macedonians and Romans on wars, politics and the future. Her major gripe was not getting a big fat wedding, but she offered good recipes for baklava.

Compiled with tongue in cheek by John Haydon.