Inside the Beltway

CLINTON A GO-GO

Got Chelsea Fatigue yet? It is almost tragic how many news organizations breathlessly have reported the cost of luxury portable toilets destined for Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in upstate New York on Saturday. Enough, already. Enough about the guest list, cake height, party favors, wedding gown, reception music and whether or not former President Bill Clinton will cry before, during or after the ceremony. But wait. The wedding is also political theater.

“So what’s with the tizzy over Chelsea? This isn’t even an in-office wedding and it’s a news blowout,” observes Newser.com founder Michael Wolff. “Continuing fascination with one of the most public family dynamics in the history of public family dynamics, is part of it. Still, what’s new to learn? Perhaps a wedding such as this represents the triumph of dysfunctionalism - the new norm.”

Well, that and the persistence of Mr. Clinton and Secretary of State/mother-of-the bride Hillary Rodham Clinton.

“The motor here is politics. The Clintons, forever being dissed, dismissed, and declared kaput, stubbornly, intractably, remain at the heart of the Democratic Party. It’s an entire liberal political establishment yet wanting to be friends of Bill’s and Hillary’s. It’s the Clinton media machine - even as a shadow of itself - working overtime,” Mr. Wolff continues. “It’s Camelot in Rhinebeck … President Barack Obama is nothing but an upstart and interloper.”

And forever ‘n’ ever, in sickness and in health, 2012 looms.

“The Democrats are feeling very bad about themselves. They see the wilderness - precisely where the Clintons have been living for some time now. Bill is the president of this realm,” Mr. Wolff adds. “It’s buyer’s remorse, a sense that will grow stronger as the next election approaches. Hillary is the do-over and if-only choice. That’s the wedding dynamic: This is the official celebration of the once and future Clintons.”

THE ALIEN BOOST

There is much squawking over the propriety of President Obama’s recent appearance on ABC’s “The View,” his endless campaigning, fundraising and speechifying - all meant to shore up the flagging Democratic cause, critics say.

Presidential strategists, however, could be overlooking a mammoth opportunity to make, well, the biggest splash of all time.

Stephen Bassett, executive director of Paradigm Research Group and X-PPAC - the Extraterrestrial Phenomena Political Action Committee - advises the White House to release all classified materials about UFOs, alien encounters and additional otherworldly fare. Should the media-savvy, publicity-sensitive Mr. Obama broach that subject, it’s blockbuster headline time, Mr. Bassett reasons.

“Eleven countries are proactively releasing their UFO files to the public. The Vatican has taken a clear position. More witnesses to the UFO/ET reality are coming forward,” he tells Inside the Beltway.

“The leader who makes the first move will acquire an extraordinary political and historical legacy as will the leader’s party and the nation. If President Obama does not meet with the military/intelligence managers of the ET issue and effectuate disclosure, another nation will. And one leading candidate is the People’s Republic of China,” Mr. Bassett warns.

LEGAL EAGLES

So many lawsuits, so little time. Former Department of Agriculture official Shirley Sherrod plans to sue online publisher Andrew Breitbart for posting a video clip that suggested she made racist remarks.

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