Top 10 haircuts NOT approved by the Iranian Ministry of Culture

In this picture released by the semi-official Iranian Mehr News Agency, an official explains about haircuts for men culturally appropriated by the Iran’s Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance, in Tehran, Iran, on Monday, July 5, 2010. (Photo: Associated Press)

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• Iran
• Ministry Of Culture
• Assembly Of Experts

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Iran’s Veil and Modesty Festival has just put together a new list of haircuts its organizers hope are approved by the Ministry of Culture.

Here’s a few hairdon’ts that probably won’t appear on the streets of Tehran:

10. The Joe Strummer Mohawk. Already the official super-secret haircut of the regime’s Assembly of Experts.

9, The Princess Leia. Revealing too much hair and too similar to bagels.

8. The Don King. “No beards shall be placed on the head.”

7. Any cut requiring a Flowbee.

6. The Larry Fine. Exception only for nuclear scientists.

5, The Joe Franklin Comb-over. It’s dangerously similar to the former Shah of Iran’s.

4. The Billy Ray Cyrus mullet.

3. The Nick Nolte “I’ve-just-been-busted-for-a-DUI.” Hawaiian shirt also banned.

2. The “A Flock of Seagulls” Wave. Wing could poke an eye out.

1. The Phil Spector Accused-of-Murder Afro. Although President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is authorized to wear it at any U.N. meetings.