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“A man without a meal ticket is a pitiful thing.”

Lucianne Goldberg, founder of Lucianne.com, reacting to news that Playgirl centerfold Levi Johnston, father of Sarah Palin’s 2-year-old grandson Tripp, plans to write a tell-all expose about the Palin family, promising exclusive photos.

COCKTAIL REBELLION

The “royal wedding” has alienated much of Britain because the extravagant plans and cloying hype are “relics from a different era,” says University of Indianapolis historian Chad Martin, who adds that the grim backlash also is fueled by resentment from cash-strapped commoners. Only 6 percent of Americans admit they have followed the ballyhoo, a Harris Poll says.

Meanwhile, one online resource has ignored it all and invented a whopping 41 “Royal Wedding Themed Cocktails” for the curious. IDrink.com is “conveniently” providing the combinations (www.idrink.com/royalwedding). A few samples: Wedding Cake Martini (cranberry juice, sugar, vanilla extract, vodka); Queen Soda (butterscotch schnapps, cream soda), Queen (gin, vermouth, muddled pineapple chunks) and William’s Special (Grenadine, rum, Sierra Mist soda).

POLL DU JOUR

• 54 percent of registered U.S. voters say they would consider voting for President Obama.

• 48 percent would consider voting for Mitt Romney; 69 percent of Republicans agree.

• 46 percent of voters overall would consider voting for Mike Huckabee; 69 percent of Republicans agree.

• 35 percent overall would consider voting for Donald Trump; 52 percent of Republicans agree.

• 34 percent overall would consider voting for Sarah Palin; 60 percent of Republicans agree.

Source: A USA Today/Gallup poll of 902 registered voters conducted April 20 to 23.

Murmurs and asides, nervous laughter to jharper@washingtontimes.com