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HURT: Allred’s Scarlet Letter should be returned to sender
Question of the Day
Could it get any sleazier than all the murky sexual accusations, character smears and shameless lies that have gripped the national political debate for the past week?
Yes, apparently, it can. Just hire Gloria Allred.
It has been a relentless campaign to destroy Herman Cain with unsubstantiated charges. So unsubstantiated, it turned out, we never even heard what the charges actually were. Only that spurious Scarlet Letter, the black plague of “sexual harassment.”
And when the nameless accuser finally “broke her silence,” it was only to announce she would not actually break her silence. Then she ran back into the hills of anonymity.
But before she could open her mouth and unburden her heart about Mr. Cain’s atrocious behavior, all went spectacularly wrong.
She hired Gloria Allred. That’s when the entire thing really turned into a circus.
Ms. Allred, a “feminist” publicity hound if there ever was one, reserves the Friar’s Club in the media capital of the world and hurries plans together to get her budding starlet to New York for her big coming out.
Oh, what to wear!
Ms. Allred trotted Ms. Bialek out in a flattering black dress topped off with huge, bouncy platinum curls, makeup caked and too much hair spray. Then she tarted her up in some sexy naughty-librarian glasses encrusted with fake diamonds.
By the time Ms. Allred was ready to present her latest plaything, Ms. Bialek looked nearly as hot as Sarah Palin. The only thing missing from the stage was a pole. Which, it turns out, was a bit of a problem for Ms. Allred, who does not like to be outshone by other women.
So she doesn’t allow the woman to simply recount her grave tale. If true, it was not “sexual harassment” or “inappropriate behavior,” but rather flat-out physical assault.
Instead, Ms. Allred sabotages the whole thing, undermines the credibility of the whole story by introducing the woman with a creepy joke unworthy of Larry Flynt.
“Mr. Cain instead decided to try to provide her with his idea of a stimulus package,” she chortled before handing over the podium.
Perhaps it is all well and good that Ms. Allred has finally found a sense of humor. But she better not quit her day job.
• Charles Hurt’s column appears Wednesday. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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