- Associated Press - Sunday, October 16, 2011

LAS VEGAS (AP) — Chief Warrant Officer Charlie Morgan kept it simple and sweet. She was eight months into a nine-month assignment in Kuwait, and Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta had just informed Congress that the U.S. armed forces were ready to integrate openly gay troops.

Warrant Officer Morgan decided the time was right to come out to her commander. The photograph of her wife and 4-year-old daughter she kept hidden on her desk helped her do it.

“I said: ‘Sir, I would like to introduce you to someone. This is my family,’” Warrant Officer Morgan recalled of her July conversation with her boss, an Army colonel leading a 2,400-solider brigade. “He said: ‘Charlie, you have a beautiful family. You know, “don’t ask, don’t tell” prevented me from getting to know you.’”

Nearly four weeks after the U.S. lifted its ban on open service by gay men, lesbians and bisexuals, similar stories of secret-shedding, relief and acceptance were swapped Saturday at the first-ever national convention of gay military personnel on active duty.

Each of the 200 or so sailors, soldiers, Marines and airmen attending the conference put on by the formerly clandestine group known as OutServe only recently, to varying degrees, had revealed their sexual orientations at work. None had gotten a reaction worse than a shrug.

“Out of the 4,500 members we have, we haven’t had any person come to us about one single problem, which is huge, because right before repeal of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell,’ we had tons of problems,” such as investigations and other issues relayed to the Pentagon, said Air Force 1st Lt. Josh Seefried, the group’s co-founder. “But right now, after Sept. 20, there is nothing to relay because everything has been 100 percent positive.”

Senior Airman Kody Parsons, a substance abuse counselor at an Air Force base in Fairfield, Calif., came out to his superiors a week and a half ago because he thought they should know he was attending the OutServe conference.

They thanked him for speaking up, supported his trip to Las Vegas and asked him to let him know if they could help in any way. Airman Parsons called it “a nonevent.”

“I think it’s very important to ensure nothing changes for fear of reinforcing the stigma that, ‘Well, now that the gays are here, look out,’” he said. “My sexual orientation doesn’t have any effect on my ability to do my job, and they recognize that.”

Yet the self-selected attendees of the OutServe Leadership Summit know that they are on the front lines of the culture wars. Estimates of the number of gay troops range from 47,000 to 65,000, and with integration so young, there are likely tens of thousands of gay military personnel still serving in silence for fear of harassment or endangering their careers.

During a panel discussion called “Being Out While Being In,” Michelle Benecke, a former Army battery commander who left the military before “don’t ask, don’t tell” was enacted, called gay Americans serving their country with pride “the right wing’s biggest fear.” Senior officers, especially, should think long and hard about the positive example they would be setting for all their troops if they demonstrated their first priority was doing their jobs well.

“Because of what you do, you destroy the stereotype about gay people every day, that we are selfish and we are only out for our own gratification. No one can look at you and say that’s true,” Ms. Benecke said.

At the same time, she said, she never would presume to tell anyone when and how to make such a personal decision. Revealing one’s sexual orientation is an important step, but one that can also produce problems such as tokenism, she said.

“I want to acknowledge up front everybody is kind of in a different place. There are people coming out and have come out right now, and those folks are self-assessing: ‘Can I trust this friend? Am I in the kind of command where I can come out?’” said Ms. Benecke, who co-founded Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a legal aid group for gay troops at risk of being discharged.

“There are other folks that have to go through their own process and have to come to their own conclusions for their own safety and their own circumstance,” she said.

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