- Associated Press - Thursday, September 8, 2011

VOORHEES, N.J. (AP) - As rain washed over him, Todd Fedoruk stumbled on the streets of Tampa in his latest haze, this one ignited by a concoction of booze and cocaine.

His secret, reckless lifestyle had fueled his transformation from NHL enforcer to a junkie hooked on cocaine and marijuana that threw his life and career into jeopardy. Fedoruk had been in this dark place before, believing he beat his addiction the first time with the same steely will he needed to scrape with the baddest bullies in the league to earn his keep in the NHL.

Yet here he was, back socializing with the wrong crowds, patronizing the seedy part of towns, hustling for whatever type of drugs he could abuse. On a rainy pre-dawn trip after the 2010 season, a disgraced Fedoruk had nowhere to hide.

“I didn’t want to drive anywhere because I was loaded,” he said. “I couldn’t stay in the house because I was paranoid. All the insanity came back.

“I knew everything was coming to an end. I didn’t care about hockey anymore. I didn’t care about my family. I was struck with this feeling of, how the hell did I get back here after everything I’ve been though? How the hell did I get back in this position again?”

He needed help. Drug addiction was not a disease he could fight alone.

Sitting in an NHL locker room, drinking a cup of coffee, Fedoruk now believes he’s one of the lucky ones. In a summer that has the NHL reeling from three chilling deaths of noted tough guys, Fedoruk is alive to share his story.

“A lot of guys in my role,” he said, “kind of carry these demons around with them.”

Guys like Derek Boogaard.

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The first time Fedoruk met Boogaard, they were teenage prospects in Regina, Saskatchewan. Fedoruk, four years older, saw a kid who couldn’t skate, couldn’t fight a lick, yet had already grown into his 200-plus-pound frame that would serve him well as one of the league’s top instigators.

Boogaard and Fedoruk would meet up again in the NHL under more unruly circumstances.

The first time they brawled in 2005 _ Boogaard with Minnesota and Fedoruk with Anaheim _ it resembled the scene out of one of those cartoon dust clouds. Each player got in shots, jerseys were yanked over heads, and helmets went flying before the officials broke it up.

On Oct. 27, 2006, they had the rematch. Boogaard threw a couple of jabs at Fedoruk’s face during what at first appeared just a replay between two men who made a living as guardians of the game.

Boogaard, though, ended the fight like it was Tyson-Spinks when he dropped Fedoruk with a punishing right hand. Fedoruk clutched his face and dropped to his knees before quickly popping back up and skating back to the locker room. Boogaard raised his arm in victory as he skated to the penalty box and an appreciative Wild crowd roared in approval.

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