- Associated Press - Monday, August 20, 2012

A selection of comic lines from Phyllis Diller, who died Monday at age 95:

_ “I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.”

_ “I never made `Who’s Who,’ but I’m featured in `What’s That?’ “

_ “When I told Fang I was going to have my face lifted, he said, `Who’d steal it?’”

_ “You know you’re old when your walker has an airbag.”

_ “I was the world’s ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.”

_ “I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.”

_ “My vanity table is a Black & Decker workbench.”

_ “The only thing domestic about me is I was born in this country.”

_ “They say housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”

_ “I have so many liver spots, I ought to come with a side of onions.”

_ “Think of me as a sex symbol for men who just don’t give a damn.”

_ “The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.”

_ And actor Dylan McDermott shares this line via Twitter: “One time (Diller) came over with a 70-year-old guy. Told me she was `robbing the cradle.’”



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