- The Washington Times - Sunday, April 7, 2013

Funny man David Letterman wants to be an ambassador. Seriously. He particularly would like to be the U.S. envoy to Canada.

“I see President Obama is passing out ambassadorships,” he said on his show last week after reading that the White House is considering Caroline Kennedy as ambassador to Japan.

“Can I be an ambassador?” Mr. Letterman asked a guest. “I’d like to go to Canada.”

Sorry, Dave. Mr. Obama rewards top fundraisers, not late-night comedians, with plum diplomatic jobs.

The president reportedly already has decided to give the Ottawa post to Bruce Heyman, a partner in the Chicago investment firm of Goldman Sachs, which received tens of billions of dollars in taxpayer bailouts.

The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. broke the news last week based on leaks from unidentified sources.

Mr. Heyman and his wife, Vicki, have raised more than $1 million for Mr. Obama’s presidential elections and served on his national campaign finance committee.

The White House has yet to make the nomination public.

CAN’T TAKE A JOKE

Anne W. Patterson, U.S. ambassador to Egypt, has apologized to President Mohammed Morsi over a diplomatic squabble that proved the thin-skinned Egyptian leader can’t take a joke.

The U.S. Embassy in Cairo last week sent out a Twitter message with a link to an American cable TV comedy show in which host Jon Stewart skewered Mr. Morsi and his Muslim Brotherhood government for persecuting Egyptian satirist Bassem Yousef.

“The world is watching,” Mr. Stewart said, after lampooning Mr. Morsi for allowing authorities to charge Mr. Yousef with insulting the president and Islam.

Mr. Morsi’s office complained that the embassy was spreading “negative political propaganda.”

The embassy later removed the link to Mr. Stewart’s show.

Now Mr. Morsi’s office is tweeting that Mrs. Patterson also “sent an apology [and] admitted mistake.”

DIPLOMATIC TRAFFIC

Foreign visitors in Washington this week include:

Tuesday

Alex Salmond, first minister of Scotland; Tricia Marwick, presiding officer of the Scottish Parliament; Henry McLeish, a former first minister of Scotland; and Bruce Crawford and Duncan McNeil, both members of the Scottish Parliament. They attend ceremonies to mark the 15th anniversary of National Tartan Day. Mr. Salmond also addresses the Brookings Institute. On Wednesday, Mr. Salmond holds a 10 a.m. news conference at the National Press Club to discuss plans for a referendum next year on Scottish independence.

Alison Redford, premier of Alberta, who discusses Canada’s Keystone XL pipeline in a forum at the Brookings Institute.

Wednesday

Juan Carlos Navarro, a former mayor of Panama City, Panama, and the presidential candidate from the Democratic Revolutionary Party. He discusses the preparations for next year’s election in a briefing at the Inter-American Dialogue.

Mahmoud Karem, a former Egyptian ambassador to Belgium. He addresses the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars about political developments in Egypt.

Thursday

Karen Agustiawan, CEO of Pertamina, Indonesia’s state-owned energy company. She addresses the Center for Strategic and International Studies.

Friday

AmbassadorShyman Saran, chairman of India’s National Security Advisory Board. He addresses the Asia Society on Indian-Pakistani relations.

Call Embassy Row at 202/636-3297 or email jmorrison@washingtontimes.com. The column is published on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.