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Phil Robertson and his industrious — not to mention genuinely quick-witted and riotously funny — clan have been around a long time, kept in the obscure headwaters of television programming.

Mr. Robertson — bearded camo aficionado — grew up in the backwoods of Louisiana and figured out something missing from the marketplace. So he started handcrafting cedar duck calls in a shed behind his house. Turned out he was right and the business turned into a family empire. They have made millionaires out of themselves and hired people all over their small town.

All the while, they Robertsons have remained faithful to their roots, traditions and, most importantly, their religion. In other words, they are hate-filled racists, according to establishment media.

Their very appealing children say “yes, sir” and “no, ma’am.” They end every episode with everyone gathered around the dinner table, saying grace and expressing thanks for all their many blessings.

America, it is.

Unlike Honey Boo Boo, who was wildly celebrated in the media when she endorsed President Obama for re-election, the Robertsons steer far clear of overt politics. But even that — in this day and age — is a pretty stark political statement in itself.

In one episode aired recently, the patriarch observed: “Uptown living, you’ve got to call 911. Where I am, I am 911.”

Truly, an observation worthy of Alexis de Tocqueville or the Federalist Papers.

Charles Hurt can be reached at or on Twitter @charleshurt.