Continued from page 1

Even George Washington himself makes a grand entrance to combat the nasty Rat King and all his rats in redcoats. The royalists are, of course, defeated in a tremendous victory for freedom and republican democracy. And we weren’t even reminded that George Washington had slaves!

Battling alongside the father of our country are so many soldiers with muskets and — clutch your pearls, ladies — tri-corn hats! It looked like an invasion of Tea Party Patriots! Someone call Homeland Security!

So, yes, there were men in tights, but “The Nutcracker” is a world of codpieces and tutus.

It is, after all, a fantastical story about a girl becoming a woman and a boy becoming a man and the two of them running off together. At least until little Clara wakes from her Christmas Eve dream.

Charles Hurt can be reached at, and on Twitter at @charleshurt.