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“I love you,” John said.

They are both very different even if they are both very much the same. Jim coached this game with an intense scowl, while John was so relaxed that he draped an arm around his daughter on the sidelines before the game in a touching moment while the Newtown children’s choir sang “America the Beautiful.”

John was simply a better coach on this night than the brother who was born 15 months after him. His game plan helped the Ravens jump to an early lead, and his team managed to hold just enough when it seemed the 49ers would steamroll them after scoring 17 points in just over 4 minutes in the longest quarter of the longest Super Bowl game ever.

The 49ers, meanwhile, squandered two timeouts that would cost them, including one when they were inside the 10-yard line with less than 2 minutes left and on the verge of taking the lead for the first time in the game. And with first-and-goal at the 7, Harbaugh didn’t call one read-option for Colin Kaepernick and never gave bruising back Frank Gore the ball.

“We had other plays called,” was Harbaugh’s only explanation.

The 49ers coach was still put out after the game, upset that there wasn’t even one penalty, much less two, called on the team’s final offensive play. Jim Harbaugh claimed receiver Michael Crabtree was both held and interfered with, but with the game on the line he wasn’t going to get either call even if he was right.

The brothers who once battled each other over who would cut the grass at their coaching father’s house both battled as hard as they could to win the game that meant the most. In the end, big brother triumphed, but it came at a price.

John Harbaugh had joked during the week that whoever lost would always have a chance to regain bragging rights on the golf course. But both knew one would be bitterly disappointed, and the other would be feeling some of his brother’s pain.

“It’s a lot tougher than I thought it was going to be,” John said. “It’s very painful.”

Not nearly as painful, though, as it was for his little brother.

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Tim Dahlberg is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at tdahlberg(at)ap.org or http://twitter.com/timdahlberg