‘Only one playboy at Playboy, and that’s Hef’

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Welcome to BracketRacket, the one-stop shopping place for all your NCAA tournament needs.

Today, we have The Rock, the world’s ugliest tie, the sneakiest coaching move of the season _ from France; what, you were expecting John Calipari? _ and the answer to the question on everyone’s mind with the games that matter still two days away: Will Hef be watching in a smoking jacket surrounded by Playboy bunnies?

But first, we simulate the entire tournament so you don’t have to.

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HAZARDOUS DUTY

When Associated Press sportswriter Noah Trister volunteered to sit in one place and watch the NCAA drama unfold from start to finish, we worried that as a Princeton man (Class of `01), he might not know some teams actually play more than one game before heading home.

So to conserve energy, we told him to skip the play-in games _ here’s all you need to know: North Carolina A&T 73, Liberty 72; Saint Mary’s 67, Middle Tennessee 54.

Then we offered to equip him with this http://bit.ly/13abAwQ, this http://bit.ly/XY3KSK, and one of these http://bit.ly/10fOukD.

But he took a pass and let us in on his secret instead, a website called whatifsports.com. You can simulate any tournament matchup you want there, complete with play-by-play and a boxscore, or the whole shebang in just under two hours. Let’s go right to the highlights:

Creighton star Doug McDermott provides the first are-you-kidding-me moment, a 3-pointer at the buzzer to give the Bluejays a 79-76 win over Cincinnati. … Pacific shoots 9 of 14 from 3-point range to bounce No. 2 seed Miami in the biggest upset of the round of 64. … No. 10 Colorado beats top-rated Indiana in the East regional final (Trister: “Yes, you read that correctly”), and No. 9 Wichita State shocks third-rated New Mexico (on Malcolm Armstead’s trey with 1 second left) to win the West. … The other top seeds, Louisville and Kansas advance out of the Midwest and South, respectively.

On to the Final Four:

Louisville 68, Wichita State 58. Kansas 71, Colorado 44. (Time saved to this point: 17 days and counting.)

And the championship game April 8:

Kansas leads 42-40 at halftime, then goes on a 7-0 run to stretch the lead to 64-52. Louisville cuts the deficit to eight with 4:48 left on a 3-pointer by Wayne Blackshear. But the Cardinals don’t score again. Jeff Withey scores 16 and grabs 13 rebounds to close out Kansas’ 77-63 victory. Cue “One Shining Moment.”

Now go here: http://bit.ly/Yqkwqk

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