I’m not big on regret. We all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty of decisions that in hindsight were less than wise.
For instance, I decided last week to predict success for Matt Ryan. Dumb. Not regrettable. I also decided to predict success for Jason Campbell. Dumber. Still, though, not regrettable. On a scale of 1 to 1,000 along the spectrum of questionable decisions I’ve made, publicly showing myself to be wrong about fantasy football rates about a 1.001.
I woke up this morning surrounded by people (and a pug) who make me happy because I’ve never been one to let regret get in my way. I never let bad decisions keep me from trying to make good ones. And I’ve made a few great ones in recent years. Emboldened by that reality, I’m not going to limit my decisions this week. Instead, I’m going to fill up this column with them. Fortune favors the bold, so here are my predictions for every game this week:
Saints at Falcons: I predict the game will end by the time anyone reads this in print (need to get at least one of these right).
Steelers at Browns: I predict Jordan Cameron will catch a pass longer than 8 yards (he didn’t last week).
Bucs at Lions: I predict this game will not be delayed by weather.
Vikings at Packers: I predict thousands of terrible headgear decisions.
Chargers at Chiefs: I predict the Chargers and Philip Rivers‘ ridiculous glove will spring the upset.
Bears at Rams: I predict I will fail miserably at an attempt not to pay attention to this game.
Panthers at Dolphins: I predict Richie Incognito watches this game in his underwear (you’re welcome for that image).
Jets at Ravens: I predict this game will not be worth watching.
Jaguars at Texans: I predict Gary Kubiak will do something inexplicable.
Titans at Raiders: I predict no one cares about this game.
Colts at Cardinals: I predict Trent Richardson will play poorly.
Cowboys at Giants: I predict the Cowboys will give up less than 40 first downs.
Broncos at Patriots: I predict the Broncos win this game by 17 points.
49ers at Redskins: I predict the Redskins will end up wishing this game was played at 3 a.m. on a Wednesday.
Week 11 Lineup Crime: There was nothing I could have done. Nothing. In a league weighted heavily toward touchdowns, with bonus points for longer TDs, my entire roster scored twice. That’s it. My starting lineup had one TD (Tom Brady), my kicker hit just two PATs and only one position player exceeded 60 yards. I scored 16 points. Sixteen!
Week 12 Lineup Time: A few serious predictions: I expect Antonio Brown’s career year to continue against the Browns. I do like Rivers’ chances of success against the no-longer unbeaten Chiefs. Ray Rice showed just how bad the Bears’ run defense is, so keep Zac Stacy in your lineup. Cam Newton is a streaky player, and his hot streak should continue against the Dolphins. I sense a shootout in the desert between Andrew Luck and Carson Palmer. Monday night is a bad matchup for RG3. Garbage-time points will be hard to come by.