You are currently viewing the printable version of this article, to return to the normal page, please click here.

HUMPHRIES: Teach the Washington Redskins a lesson — with Apaches, Tomahawks and Blackhawks

- - Thursday, April 10, 2014

Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder has been under a lot of pressure to change the name of his football team, because some people believe it is an insult to Native Americans. Native Americans themselves are divided on the question — many of them support the Redskins’ name and believe it to be an honor.

Since forcing the Redskins to change their name has become a celebrity liberal cause, and even President Obama has weighed in, you’d think we would see all kinds of polls showing that actual members of various tribes and nations are outraged. But you never do. That probably tells us something about what the polls would look like.

Snyder announced recently that he visited 26 different tribal reservations, across 20 states, to “listen and learn first-hand about the views, attitudes, and experiences of the tribes.” He said the chairwoman of one tribe told him, “There are Native Americans everywhere that 100 percent support the name.”

But Snyder said his tour convinced him that it was important to help people on the reservations — poverty, unemployment, and infrastructure problems. He announced the formation of the Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation to “provide meaningful and measurable resources that provide genuine opportunities for Tribal communities.” The foundation has already over 40 more projects in the works.

So it was a happy ending all around, as the people who have been trying to organize protests against Dan Snyder realized he’s a great guy. … Naaah, who am I kidding? The activists called him a monster who was just trying to buy off Indian tribes with his stupid foundation, and demanded he change the Redskins’ name again.

Even Stephen Colbert got into it by tweeting a joke out that many have considered racist. Of course the liberal media has rushed to his defense. "Oh, he didn’t mean anything by it. It wasn’t even Colbert that sent it out." Yap, yap, yap! "Man the life boats! Save the liberal!" Actually I believe that Colbert probably didn’t send the tweet. But if that joke came from my Twitter account, do you think Colbert would have given me the benefit of the doubt? No way!

Maybe it’s time to just go along to get along.

Maybe it’s time to get serious and take Dan Snyder down for insulting Native Americans with his team name! Maybe we could blow up his house with a Tomahawk missile! No, wait. President Obama just announced he’s going to kill the Tomahawk missile program. We better save those in case we need them later. I hear they’re working on the next missile system, the “Tinkerbell,” but the Disney princesses are starting to be offended, so they may have to scrap that idea.

OK, here’s a better plan: We’ll use a Kiowa Scout helicopter to fix Dan Snyder’s position, then we’ll buzz his house with an Apache attack chopper to let him know we mean business, and we’ll finish up by sending in a Chinook and then a Blackhawk full of special forces operators and to tell him he’d better stop insulting Native Americans with the name of his football team!

After we’ve “adjusted” Dan Snyder’s attitude, we can get to work on the owners of the Kansas City Chiefs, the Cleveland Indians, the Atlanta Braves, and we’ll have to hit a whole bunch of colleges.

It’s obvious that the name of the Washington Redskins isn’t meant as a putdown of Native Americans. You don’t name a team after people you hate. You name it after someone or something you respect! Some people claim to speak for all Native Americans by demanding the Redskins change their name, but plenty of others view the name as an honor and want it kept the way it is. I doubt you could find one person, especially one football fan, who means any kind of insult when they say the Redskins’ name, not even for one little instant, in the tiniest corner of their brains.

There’s a proud tradition associated with that name. Too much of American life is getting redefined by noisy activists, bullies, and political operators looking to whip up pet causes out of thin air. We are reaching a point where people are afraid to talk to each other. It seems like there’s a new pressure group declaring war over something or other, every single day. And when you put that much pressure on a society, eventually it cracks.

Do you think the Redskins name should stay or I’m I being too easy on Dan Snyder? Your comments are welcome here at WashingtonTimes.com and until our next briefing, this is The Rusty Humphries Rebellion.