- The Washington Times - Friday, June 20, 2014

Rep. Trey Gowdy took a time-out from the somber cause of politicking to tell a two-plus minute story of his recent dream that opened: Speaker John Boehner, Sen. Lindsey Graham and Maryland’s Rep. Andy Harris all died and went to Heaven.

“I had a horrible dream last night,” he began, to a Maryland GOP crowd. “In my dream, John Boehner, Lindsay Graham and Andy Harris all tragically died and went to Heaven on the same day. It could happen, I guess … for two of them for sure.”

So St. Peter approached and said, “Look, I know you’re big shots on earth but there are rules up here. You either follow the rules or there will be consequences,” Mr. Gowdy said.

Mr. Boehner was the first to break the rules, Mr. Gowdy went on.

“He broke into a CVS to steal some cigarettes and some tanning lotion,” Mr. Gowdy riffed as the crowd roared. “He is chained to Nancy Pelosi with a 10-foot long chain, and then in a voice as loud as thunder, I hear, ‘John Boehner, you violated the rules of Heaven and this is your punishment for all eternity.’”

Mr. Gowdy recounts how he then sees Mr. Graham.

Lindsey’s running around in Heaven wanting to know where John McCain is,” he said. “And in my dream, Sen. Graham was chained to Roseanne Barr” and once again the voice bellows: “You have violated the rules of Heaven and this is your punishment for all eternity.”

Then Mr. Gowdy says that in his dream, he “get[s] sad” because he sees Mr. Harris, and “Andy’s a friend.” But he sees him tethered with a five-foot long chain — “to the former supermodel Cindy Crawford,” he said.

“And in a voice as loud as thunder, I hear, ‘Cindy Crawford, you have violated the rules …’” Mr. Gowdy finishes, as the crowd laughs and applauds.

 

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