"I didn't have him to turn to when I was struggling on the field," he said. "The field wasn't really an escape for me then from the situation. I felt like there was a weight on my shoulders. But I pushed through that and had some people I could talk to, family and friends. I think once I started talking about him and let people know what I was thinking and heard my own thoughts, I got adjusted to it and was able to deal with it better."