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Out of Context
Foods that might kill libido
Eating certain foods can dampen sexual desire. So go ahead and blame your okra-rich diet.
Arnold to Maria: Put down the cell phone
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has to give his wife a talking-to about driving with a cell phone in hand. He outlawed it in his "Anti-Girly Men" act.
Marge Simpson bares all for Playboy
Marge Simpson appears naked on the cover of Playboy magazine. Yeah, that Marge Simpson. The cartoon. You got a problem with that?
Obama wins Nobel Peace Prize
President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Even he said "for what?"
NASA bombs the moon
NASA has crashed two spacecraft into the moon. Authorities are questioning Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse on DUI suspicions.
Blueberries aid brain power
A blueberry smoothie in the morning can help you think better in the afternoon. I could use a blueberry smoothie now ... or a beer.
French aghast over McDonald's at the Louvre
McDonald's plans to open a restaurant at the Louvre. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France? A Royale with cheese.
Obamas celebrate anniversary
President Obama took his wife out to dinner to celebrate their 17th anniversary. Isn't it romantic? And secure?
Scientists find mini-Stonehenge
Archeologists have found the site of a smaller version of Stonehenge about a mile from the original. Think of it as "Stonehenge Lite."
WWE exec to run for U.S. Senate
The WWE's chief executive is running for the U.S. Senate from Connecticut. I hope Hulk Hogan joins the campaign. The election could use a some Hulkamania.
Berlusconi says he's Italy's best ... prime minister
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says he's the best that Italy's ever had. Apparently, he doesn't know that Italy tells that to all of its prime ministers.
Nicole Richie gives birth to Sparrow
Paris Hilton's former BFF has given birth to boy she has named Sparrow. That's going to look good on a driver's license.
Study: Big thighs shrink heart disease risk
A new study shows that a good-sized thigh can reduce the risk of heart disease. Well, looks like I can cross heart disease off my list of worries.
Report: Gadhafi to ask U.N. to abolish Switzerland
Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is going to ask the U.N. to abolish Switzerland. Question: What about the chocolate?
Green jobs czar denies 9/11 conspiracy theory
Van Jones, the Obama administration's green jobs czar, says he didn't mean to sign onto a statement suspecting government involvement in 9/11. It was an accident — the statement, not 9/11, that is.
Lingerie Football League? Really?
A bunch of attractive women who play football in their underwear say they want to be taken seriously as real athletes. You got a problem with that?
Study: Pretty women make men stupid
A new study shows that men literally lose their minds when they talk to pretty women. But they do return to their senses. Unfortunately, it's usually after the honeymoon.
'Almanac' says to brace for cold
The "Farmer's Almanac" is forecasting a harsh winter for the middle of America. Middle America is always getting picked on.
Feds cracking down on secondhand sales
Holding a yard sale? I hope you checked it with the federal government first. You might be a criminal.
First cloned wolf dies at zoo
Snuwolf, one of two cloned wolves, has died at a zoo in Seoul. It didn't like being a copycat, um, wolf.
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