
Out of Context
Eating certain foods can dampen sexual desire. So go ahead and blame your okra-rich diet.
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has to give his wife a talking-to about driving with a cell phone in hand. He outlawed it in his "Anti-Girly Men" act.
Marge Simpson appears naked on the cover of Playboy magazine. Yeah, that Marge Simpson. The cartoon. You got a problem with that?
President Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize. Even he said "for what?"
NASA has crashed two spacecraft into the moon. Authorities are questioning Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse on DUI suspicions.
A blueberry smoothie in the morning can help you think better in the afternoon. I could use a blueberry smoothie now ... or a beer.
McDonald's plans to open a restaurant at the Louvre. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France? A Royale with cheese.
President Obama took his wife out to dinner to celebrate their 17th anniversary. Isn't it romantic? And secure?
Archeologists have found the site of a smaller version of Stonehenge about a mile from the original. Think of it as "Stonehenge Lite."
The WWE's chief executive is running for the U.S. Senate from Connecticut. I hope Hulk Hogan joins the campaign. The election could use a some Hulkamania.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says he's the best that Italy's ever had. Apparently, he doesn't know that Italy tells that to all of its prime ministers.
Paris Hilton's former BFF has given birth to boy she has named Sparrow. That's going to look good on a driver's license.
A new study shows that a good-sized thigh can reduce the risk of heart disease. Well, looks like I can cross heart disease off my list of worries.
Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is going to ask the U.N. to abolish Switzerland. Question: What about the chocolate?
Van Jones, the Obama administration's green jobs czar, says he didn't mean to sign onto a statement suspecting government involvement in 9/11. It was an accident — the statement, not 9/11, that is.
A bunch of attractive women who play football in their underwear say they want to be taken seriously as real athletes. You got a problem with that?
A new study shows that men literally lose their minds when they talk to pretty women. But they do return to their senses. Unfortunately, it's usually after the honeymoon.
The "Farmer's Almanac" is forecasting a harsh winter for the middle of America. Middle America is always getting picked on.
Holding a yard sale? I hope you checked it with the federal government first. You might be a criminal.
Snuwolf, one of two cloned wolves, has died at a zoo in Seoul. It didn't like being a copycat, um, wolf.
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