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Out of Context Archive: December 2008

  • GM CEO drives to D.C.

    The head of the biggest of the Big Three automakers took the scenic route to Washington to ask Congress for bailout money. Driving a car from Detroit to D.C. is a LOT more humbling than flying a private jet, ain't it? Published December 3 2008

  • Russian warship to sail through Panama Canal

    A Russian warship is scheduled to sail through the Panama Canal this week. Take that, Chavez! Oh, you invited them? Never mind. Published December 3 2008

  • Oprah to broadcast from D.C. for inauguration

    Media mogul Oprah Winfrey is bringing her show to Washington to celebrate Barack Obama's inauguration. She's so awesome. I hope she gives away cars when she's here. I hope I'm in the audience. Published December 3 2008

  • Scientists find ancient stash of pot

    About 2,700 years ago a shaman was buried with 2 pounds of marijuana in the Gobi Desert, scientists say. What a way to go, man. What a way to go. Published December 3 2008

  • Montag's mom gives Heidi's marriage 6 months

    The mother of "The Hills" star Heidi Montag gives her daughter's "marriage" to co-star Spencer Pratt about six months. Gee, thanks, Mom. It's not like it's a "real" marriage anyway. Published December 3 2008

  • Palin smiles at Biden quip

    Sarah Palin says Joe Biden is a witty guy. That's the truth. Just ask him about Rudy Giuliani. Published December 3 2008

  • Chambliss credits Palin with victory

    Sen. Saxby Chambliss says Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's campaigning for him made the difference in his successful re-election bid. It's all about name recognition, Saxby. You gotta find a name people will remember. Published December 3 2008

  • Cher to record album of '60s hits

    Cher is planning to record a new album of old songs. Hey, didn't she retire? Twice? Published December 3 2008

  • Gary Coleman guilty of disorderly conduct

    Gary Coleman, who played Arnold Jackson in "Diff'rent Strokes" in the '70s and '80s, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct involving a parking lot fracas with a fan. What you talkin' 'bout, Willis? Published December 3 2008

  • Obama picks Richardson for Commerce

    President-elect Barack Obama has chosen Bill Richardson to be commerce secretary. I hear there's a lot of money in that job, but I could be mistaken. Published December 3 2008

  • NFL suspends 6 players over anti-doping policy

    The NFL, in a get-tough move, suspended six players for using a diuretic, which can mask the use of steroids. Gosh, I wonder how they'd have been punished if the NFL found they had used steroids. Published December 3 2008

  • Daily News 'steals' Empire State Building

    The New York Daily News says it took only 90 minutes to "steal" the Empire State Building. Yeah, but now how are they going to sell it? There aren't many fences out there who will take on a stolen landmark. Published December 3 2008

  • Moms ditch lullabies for pop ballads

    Modern moms prefer today's hit songs to yesterday's classic lullabies to put their babes to bed. A few years from Guns N' Roses' "Sweet Child O' Mine" will be the lullaby of a generation. Watch those high notes! Published December 3 2008

  • Journalists are celebrities, too

    Newsmen are a major part of America's celebrity culture, in which you can be famous for being famous. Now THAT'S news. Published December 3 2008

  • Franken gains slightly on Coleman in Minn. Senate race

    Satirist Al Franken slightly cut Sen. Norm Coleman's lead in the recount of millions of ballots in Minnesota. Right about now those Minnesotans are wishing they had an abacus. Published December 3 2008

  • Passengers kept in plane for 9 hours

    A 4-and-a-half hour flight turned into a 14-hour ordeal for passengers flying from San Salvador to Los Angeles. Think of the stories they can tell! Published December 2 2008

  • Chambliss wins Georgia runoff election

    Saxby Chambliss won his re-election bid in Georgia's runoff election. So the coolest name in the Senate will remain there another six years. Published December 2 2008

  • Chambliss takes early lead in runoff

    Georgia's runoff election for a U.S. Senate seat is drawing attention around the country. Too bad nobody is really running — off. Published December 2 2008

  • GM seeks $4 billion government loan

    General Motors, the biggest of the Big Three, needs billions of federal dollars. Now! Right now! Published December 2 2008

  • Obama camp denies 'ring' story

    The president-elect's staff knocks down a report that he would buy his wife a $30,000 ring to say "thanks for your support." Sorry, Michelle. Published December 2 2008