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Out of Context Archive: November 2008

  • Britney's back on top

    With the imminent release of her new album, pop singer Britney Spears is about to make the biggest comeback since O.J.'s after his murder trial. Maybe even bigger. Published November 30 2008

  • Iraq wants $80-a-barrel oil

    Iraqi Oil Minister Hussein al-Shahristani says $80 a barrel is a fair price for oil. It sounds odd, but if Iraqis want to pay us $80 a barrel for oil, I say let them. Oh, that's what they want US to pay? Never mind. Published November 30 2008

  • DNA test picks kids' sports

    A DNA research company is offering parents a test that can find out which sport their children are born to play. Of course, the children first would have to show an interest in the sport, and the test for that is extra. Published November 30 2008

  • Arkansas quakes could signal bigger tremor

    A series of small temblors in central Arkansas over the past few weeks could be indicating a bigger one. Earthquakes in Arkansas? Is this because Hillary lost the election? Published November 30 2008

  • Tween girl gets pirates to talk

    A BBC reporter at the end of her rope allows her daughter to phone the Somali pirates, who tell the girl their side of the story. I see a Lifetime movie in the making. Published November 30 2008

  • Study: In-laws harder on wives

    A new study at Cambridge University shows that women attribute about 60% of their misery to their mothers-in-law. So buck up, guys. You're not as bad as you thought you were. It's your mom. Published November 30 2008

  • Town bans lights for Milky Way view

    The town of Mount Desert Island, Maine, has banned outdoor lights to attract tourists to its view of the Milky Way. Usually when people want to gaze at stars, they go to Hollywood. Published November 30 2008

  • Couple waits for wedding day for first kiss

    A couple in the Chicago area are walking their talk by abstaining from kissing — and any other physical intimacies — until their wedding day. It's worth the wait, they say, but how would they know? Published November 29 2008

  • FDA sets melamine levels for baby formula

    The FDA, which was unable to set safety levels for melamine two months, now has set safety levels for the industrial chemical, which also is used to make plastic. Who says the federal government can never get its act together? (Emphasis on the word "act.") Published November 29 2008

  • White House deluged with pardon requests

    A slew of convicts is beseeching President Bush for pardons. Be careful, Mr. President. If one of these convicts sneezes in your presence and says, "Pardon me," be careful how you answer. Published November 29 2008

  • Japanese told to go home early and make babies

    To improve Japan's low birth rate, workers are being told to leave work early, have more sex and make more babies. Talk about a comprehensive benefits package. Published November 29 2008

  • Jock-only tutoring centers chafe non-athletes

    Athlete-only tutoring centers on college campuses are beginning to irritate non-jocks. Maybe college officials should listen. Or at least watch "Revenge of the Nerds." Published November 29 2008

  • Whitney says she's not back with Bobby Brown

    Whitney Houston says that she has not reunited with ex-husband Bobby Brown. Isn't this the start of grand reunion? Published November 29 2008

  • Swiss likely to OK prescription heroin

    Switzerland is expected to enact heroin-prescription legislation. It's called the Smack Act. Published November 29 2008

  • Court allows Sarkozy voodoo dolls

    An appeals court in France has dismissed President Nicolas Sarkozy's bid to ban the sale of voodoo dolls that look like him. Someone should tell him that voodoo only works if you believe in it — or if the voodoo practitioner is very very good. Published November 29 2008

  • Boar crashes church breakfast

    A wild boar crashed through a window at a church in Frankfurt, Germany, and disrupted a breakfast there. Such rudeness! Such a lack of manners! That boar acted like a boor. Published November 29 2008

  • Reindeer poop makes great gifts

    An Illinois zoo has a new marketing angle for the holidays — Christmas ornaments made from reindeer droppings. Kids love them because it's like having a little piece of Rudolph in your hands. Published November 29 2008

  • Studies: Lefties earn more than righies

    Studies in Britain and Ireland reveal that left-handed men earn more than right-handed men. Barack Obama can testify to that. Published November 29 2008

  • Batman's dad kills Dark Knight

    In a new comic book, Batman dies at the hands of man who claims to be Bruce Wayne's father. What a way to go! Published November 28 2008

  • Medvedev, Castro meet in Cuba

    Russian President Dmitry Medvedev got chummy with Cuban President Raul Castro in Havana. After all, they have so much in common — America. Published November 28 2008