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Out of Context Archive: January 2009

• Farewell to a man of our times

  Let's take a moment and remember what we have lost. OK, moment's over. Published January 30 2009

• Study: Men smell like cheese, women like onions

  It's a study on armpit sweat. I don't know if I'm hungry or nauseated. Published January 29 2009

• Mars rover refuses to work

  NASA's Mars rover is following orders anymore, and scientists are puzzled. Didn't the storyline of "The Terminator" start like this? Published January 29 2009

• Blagojevich states his case at his impeachment trial

  In a 47-minute speech, Rod Blagojevich asked the state Senate to see him as a man of the people. Published January 29 2009

• Madoff tired of being cooped up in his penthouse

  Poor Bernie Madoff. Stuck in a $7 million penthouse with only basic cable and a masseuse with cold hands. Tough luck. Published January 29 2009

• Obama chides Wall Street over $18 billion in bonuses

  Wall Street paid out $18 billion in bonuses last year, and President Obama calls it "shameful." Yeah, that's about right. Published January 29 2009

• Foreign investors offered U.S. residency for $1 million

  For $1 million you can become a U.S. citizen. I'll buy that. Published January 29 2009

• Lawmaker takes back criticism of Rush Limbaugh

  Phil Gingrey says his original comments were taken out of context. Well, this is the place for that! Published January 29 2009

• Illinois Senate ousts Blagojevich

  Rod Blagojevich isn't governor anymore, and he can't hold elected office in Illinois. Well, at least he can still have his own talk show. Published January 29 2009

• Airlines clean planes to get customers

  A clean plane is a profitable plane, the airlines are saying these days. Why they weren't saying it earlier is just one of those aviation mysteries. Like Amelia Earhart. Or jet lag. Published January 29 2009

• N.M. lawmakers delay webcams for naps

  New Mexico lawmakers want to study placing webcams in their committee meetings. Maybe they'll sleep on it. Published January 28 2009

• GOP lawmaker hits back at Limbaugh

  Rush Limbaugh has been trading barbs with Democratic leaders for years, but now a new front has opened. Published January 28 2009

• Report: Kyrgyzstan under Russian cyber attack

  The former Soviet republic now has no Internet access, which is news because no one knew it had Internet access to begin with. Published January 28 2009

• Illinois Senate hears Blagojevich tapes

  The governor is heard saying on in an FBI wiretap "I want to make some money." He says that's subject to interpretation. Hey, I want to make some money! No interpretation needed! Published January 28 2009

• Ahmadinejad demands apology from Obama

  The Iranian president wants an apology from the American president. It's for the sake of diplomacy. That's spelled "E-G-O." Published January 28 2009

• Blagojevich to give closing argument at impeachment

  Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will deliver closing arguments at his impeachment trial. The whole world will listen. Well, maybe not the whole world. Published January 28 2009

• Report: Bush didn't pardon 'high rollers'

  President Bush didn't fall for the old "sneeze-and-'Pardon me' " trick. He said, "God bless you" instead. Published January 28 2009

• Foreign firms gave Bill Clinton $6M to speak

  And he did speak ... and speak ... and speak. They might consider paying him to stop. Published January 28 2009

• 'Cello scrotum' exposed as bogus

  It's a fake disease -- that's been around for 34 years. Published January 28 2009

• Study: Genes determine social behavior

  Are you a wallflower? It's because you're made that way. Published January 27 2009