Entry Archive - Washington Times
Skip to content

Out of Context Archive: June 2009

  • Buckingham Palace guards 'into porn, poker'

    An ex-guard at Buckingham Palace says his comrades engage in poker parties and porn sales on duty. That is some kind of duty! Published June 30 2009

  • Lions claim turf like gangstas

    A new study shows that lion prides operate like street gangs to defend their turf. So remember, stay off the lions' turf. Published June 30 2009

  • Madoff sentenced today but the money's still missing

    Bernie Madoff faces his sentence today, but the billions of dollars he swindled are still missing. Maybe some hard labor will jog his memory. Published June 29 2009

  • Thai elephants look like pandas

    Pandas get more attention than elephants, so if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Even though, as elephants, they could just crush 'em. Published June 29 2009

  • A face only a mother could love? Maybe not

    A new study shows that women are more likely than men to look away from ugly babies. Of course, their own babies are beautiful. Published June 24 2009

  • Sanford in Argentina, not hiking

    South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford says he was in Argentina, not on the Appalachian Trail. It was just a mix-up. The two places sound so much alike. Published June 24 2009

  • Calvin Klein pulls foursome ad after complaints

    A Manhattan billboard depicting an orgy was too much for many New Yorkers. What? Not sexy enough? Published June 24 2009

  • Sarkozy raps the burkha

    French President Nicolas Sarkozy says there's no place in France for Islamic burkhas. Vive la liberte de religion! Published June 23 2009

  • Italy's hooker probe to question 30 women

    Italian prosecutors plan to quiz 30 women in Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's prostitution probe. I hope it's a multiple-choice quiz. Published June 23 2009

  • They don't eat horses, do they?

    British horse owners don't want to pledge not to eat their animals -- but only because they don't do that sort of thing anyway. Really. Published June 23 2009

  • Missing governor is found -- sort of

    South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford didn't tell anyone he was going on a hike. Chalk it up to "executive privilege." Published June 23 2009

  • Farmers change feed to stem cow burps

    Dairy farmers in Vermont are battling climate change by reducing cow burps. Excuse me? Published June 22 2009

  • Wii games bring the pain

    Playing games on Nintendo's Wii can cause real sports injuries, although you're probably less likely to brag about them. Published June 18 2009

  • Judge blocks 'Catcher in the Rye' sequel

    A judge has halted publication of an unauthorized sequel of J.D. Salinger's "The Catcher in the Rye." So don't expect to see "The Pitcher in the Wheat" anytime soon. Published June 18 2009

  • A moose goes to the horse track

    A moose toured Saratoga Race Course and was soon tranquilized. I get that treatment too when I go there. Published June 17 2009

  • No flies on Obama -- or else

    President Obama dispatched a large, pesky fly during a CNBC interview using quick reflexes -- and very little bailout money. Published June 17 2009

  • Mexican cocaine found in frozen sharks

    Mexican authorities broke up a drug smuggling operation by finding cocaine in frozen sharks destined for the U.S. Kinda like "Jaws" meets "Cops." Published June 17 2009

  • Report: Durbin cashed out during stock collapse

    Sen. Dick Durbin's financial disclosure statement is raising some eyebrows, but they'll be lowered soon enough. Published June 16 2009

  • CBS walls off homes for reality TV show

    It's a show about eight families trapped in a prison in their own neighborhood. Just like real life! Published June 16 2009

  • Letterman apologizes to Palin -- again

    David Letterman has apologized for a second time to Sarah Palin for jokes he made about her family ... and this time he did it with some feeling. Published June 16 2009