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Out of Context Archive: September 2009

  • WWE exec to run for U.S. Senate

    The WWE's chief executive is running for the U.S. Senate from Connecticut. I hope Hulk Hogan joins the campaign. The election could use a some Hulkamania. Published September 16 2009

  • Blueberry smoothies aid brain power

    A blueberry smoothie in the morning can help you think better in the afternoon. I could use a blueberry smoothie now ... or a beer. Published September 11 2009

  • Berlusconi says he's Italy's best ... prime minister

    Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says he's the best that Italy's ever had. Apparently, he doesn't know that Italy tells that to all of its prime ministers. Published September 11 2009

  • Nicole Richie gives birth to Sparrow

    Paris Hilton's former BFF has given birth to boy she has named Sparrow. That's going to look good on a driver's license. Published September 10 2009

  • Study: Big thighs shrink heart disease risk

    A new study shows that a good-sized thigh can reduce the risk of heart disease. Well, looks like I can cross heart disease off my list of worries. Published September 4 2009

  • Report: Gadhafi to ask U.N. to abolish Switzerland

    Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is going to ask the U.N. to abolish Switzerland. Question: What about the chocolate? Published September 4 2009

  • Green jobs czar denies 9/11 conspiracy theory

    Van Jones, the Obama administration's green jobs czar, says he didn't mean to sign onto a statement suspecting government involvement in 9/11. It was an accident — the statement, not 9/11, that is. Published September 4 2009

  • Lingerie Football League? Really?

    A bunch of attractive women who play football in their underwear say they want to be taken seriously as real athletes. You got a problem with that? Published September 4 2009

  • Study: Pretty women make men stupid

    A new study shows that men literally lose their minds when they talk to pretty women. But they do return to their senses. Unfortunately, it's usually after the honeymoon. Published September 4 2009

  • 'Almanac' says to brace for cold

    The "Farmer's Almanac" is forecasting a harsh winter for the middle of America. Middle America is always getting picked on. Published September 1 2009

  • Feds cracking down on secondhand sales

    Holding a yard sale? I hope you checked it with the federal government first. You might be a criminal. Published September 1 2009

  • First cloned wolf dies at zoo

    Snuwolf, one of two cloned wolves, has died at a zoo in Seoul. It didn't like being a copycat, um, wolf. Published September 1 2009