- The Washington Times - Friday, February 25, 2000

Gallows humor

After a Senate vote Thursday on a bill that singled out Russia for possible sanctions over weapons shipments to Iran, three Democratic senators climbed onto a U.S. Capitol elevator Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas, Daniel K. Inouye of Hawaii and Bob Kerrey of Nebraska.
"Oh, look, all of us cripples are getting on at the same time," Mr. Kerrey was overheard to remark.
One of Mrs. Lincoln's legs is in a cast after surgery, Mr. Inouye lost an arm in a World War II battle, and Mr. Kerrey lost a leg during a firefight in Vietnam.

George 16:3

Earlier this week, we'd written that Vice President Al Gore didn't commit a biblical blooper citing John 16:3, rather than John 3:16 as his favorite Bible verse that a widely circulating story claims he did.
Now, syndicated columnist Cal Thomas reveals it was President Bush who mistakenly confused chapter and verse.
"Bush said it in my presence at a religious broadcasters convention about 1990, and I wrote about it in my book, 'Blinded by Might: Can the Religious Right Save America,' " Mr. Thomas informs this column.
"But somehow it got twisted around and stuck on the Internet and put in Al Gore's mouth. He's got a lot of stuff that he has to defend, but that's not one of them."

Royal flush

Does President Clinton place politics before international relations?
Our sources say yes, insisting King Juan Carlos and Queen Sophia of Spain were to have shared a private dinner at the White House Tuesday evening with the President and Mrs. Clinton, only supper was canceled at the last moment to let Mr. Clinton attend a fund-raiser for Rep. Maxine Waters of California at the Four Seasons Hotel.
To make matters worse, Spain's embassy scrambled to make dinner reservations elsewhere for the royal couple, and of hundreds of restaurants to choose from, picked the Four Seasons.
"He had no idea the fund-raiser was at the Four Seasons," says a confidant of the king. Even more embarrassing, because of the tight security surrounding Mr. Clinton, the king was denied access to the hotel's front entrance.
"The king finished his journey on foot the last 50 or 100 yards," says the confidant, his motorcade unable to proceed any further.

Churchill's chin

Rep. Bob Schaffer, Colorado Republican, and his wife, Maureen, are proud parents of their fifth child, Mary Clare, born on Presidents Day.
"I'm trying to find a combination of Abe and George," Mr. Schaffer told this column by telephone from his home Thursday, "but she looks more like Winston Churchill than any American president."
See for yourself. The proud papa has posted a picture of Mary on his congressional Web site: www.house.gov/schaffer/ mary_clare.htm.

Clocking Hillary

Now, with the new nifty animated first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton wristwatch, we'll know exactly what time she, er, it is.
The brilliant quartz watch, offering a lighthearted look at Mrs. Clinton's unique skill of political maneuvering, features an animation movement that shows her baseball cap continually changing from New York to Chicago to Arkansas to Washington and back to New York.
The timepiece, with a suggested retail price of $29.95, is made by the Worldwide Watch Co. of Seattle, which with each passing second a few years ago brought us the "Clinton Growing Nose" watch.

Paybacks are hell

Before Republicans close the doors completely on Democrats by banning future open primaries, consider the good time had by Michigan resident Ronald Darlington a few elections ago."What is all the sniveling about concerning open primaries here in Michigan?" he asks. "Two years ago, I and countless other Republicans thought it was great fun voting for Geoffrey Feiger in the Democratic primary. His candidacy led the Dems to their worst defeat in the history of our state elections."This year's primary may be Democratic revenge or genuine admiration for John McCain. Whatever the reason, we Republicans have no one to blame but ourselves."

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