- The Washington Times - Wednesday, June 7, 2000

Missed cranks

Who on Capitol Hill wasn't discussing yesterday's front-page story and photograph in The Washington Times of the faulty toilets in the Tennessee home that Vice President Al Gore rents to a family on disability?
After first presenting the Mayberry family with an eviction notice, Mr. Gore reconsidered (read, election year) and promised repairs to the family's squalid living conditions, including a clogged septic system and busted toilets.
Now, Inside the Beltway learns that inquiring minds at the Cooler Heads Coalition of the Competitive Enterprise Institute are in the midst of being stonewalled by Navy officials responsible for upkeep of the vice president's mansion in Washington.
"That is, given how bossy Al Gore and his dopplegangers within the Department of Energy, Environmental Protection Agency and elsewhere are to 'ordinary Americans' about what they must do to be 'responsible' (size and efficiency of water heater and other appliances, duration of showers, etc.)," explains coalition counsel Christopher Horner, "no such inquiry would be complete without asking: Does Mr. Gore similarly burden his brood with the inefficient double-flush mode of commode his policy friends have imposed upon the masses?"
Mr. Horner told us of his particular inquiry after viewing yesterday's "pathetic scene of Vice President Gore's tenant staring forlornly into his commode, which had definitely seen better days" with its broken handle.
The Washington counsel suspects that Mr. Gore now will demand that his tenants' toilet be replaced with a new one "a low-flow, or 'double-flush' model the veep has imposed upon us all."
"With such a gesture by Mr. Gore," says Mr. Horner, "I foresee hours of enjoyment by these tenants, catching up on missed cranks of the handle."

Impulsive, yet warm

The most common complaint we've heard about George W. Bush's handwritten fund-raising letter to Americans across the country is that you can't read his writing.

Let's examine the letter more closely.

First, Mr. Bush's handwriting style is certainly a mishmash of diverse elements, cursive interlaced with print (actually, the letters aren't even interlaced). Take the word "compassionate."

Mr. Bush writes "comp" in cursive, then individually prints the letters "a" "s" "s" "i," then completes the word "onate" in cursive.

Second, it's difficult to distinguish between Mr. Bush's stand-alone lower-case "f" and the slash mark he frequently uses when separating words like Clinton/ Gore.

Still, while difficult to read, the Texas governor's handwriting speaks volumes. In fact, a handwriting analysis, called graphology, of Mr. Bush's campaign appeal reveals several aspects of his personality.

"Graphotypes," a book authored by graphologist Sheila Kurtz, would place Mr. Bush in the "Supratype Plus" category. That means the Republican candidate is "emotionally responsive and empathetic in a temperate manner."

"[His] emotions and reasoning ability are in equilibrium, even though [he] acts impulsively at times," according to the book. "Supratype Plus individuals possess much expressive energy, as well as warmth and outgoingness."

Mao's wheels

Now's your chance to take a ride in Mao Tse-tung's Mercedes-Benz. Or better yet, own it.

"Butterfields is pleased to offer Chairman Mao's 1971 Mercedes-Benz 600 Pullman limousine, the last of three state limousines built by Mercedes for Mao, the leader of the People's Republic of China," says the Internet auction house e-Bay, which is accepting bids on the car starting at $340,000.

"Following Mao's death, the Chinese government gave the car to the Soviet government. The limousine was then acquired by Armand Hammer, the American industrialist, who imported it to the United States and, in the mid-1980s, restored the car to its present cosmetic condition at a reported cost of $200,000."

The car was extensively serviced in 1999 and is now ready for use, not just show. Amenities include an in-car telephone and a television installed by Mr. Hammer in place of the original refrigerator.

Word power

Cameron Gray, for eight years G. Gordon Liddy's associate producer and guest coordinator for his nationally syndicated radio talk show, has founded Cameron Gray Communications.
He calls it "one of the nation's only publicity firms that specifically targets radio outlets."
"Time after time, guests and their publicists would tell me that talk radio is the absolute best vehicle for selling books or mobilizing people to action," he says. "I want to use the sheer power of radio to work for my clients."

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