- The Washington Times - Wednesday, October 25, 2000

Dirty dozen

Republicans and Democrats alike in Washington are snatching up the new December issue of Penthouse, featuring Paula Jones as you've never seen her before.
Nude. Very nude.
That's right, the woman whose charges of sexual harassment led to the impeachment of President Clinton, leaves nothing to Bubba's imagination, explaining she needs the extra dough to put her children through college.
It "is something I normally wouldn't do," she insists of her dozen "au naturel" poses.
"But I am pleased with the pictures because I don't think they're vulgar. I think they're very tasteful. Hopefully, this will secure my children's future. I definitely want to put them through college."
In an article accompanying the spread, the recently divorced Mrs. Jones now informs the world that she was manipulated by Mr. Clinton's conservative enemies in their relentless pursuit to ruin the president.
As for the $850,000 that Mr. Clinton paid her to go away in 1998, she says more than 80 percent went to her lawyers, and the Internal Revenue Service took much of what was left.
She says she still owes the IRS $20,000 in back taxes because she improperly deducted makeup, clothing and beauty parlor expenses.
Her shorter nose is a longer story.

Bald statement

Widespread reaction after Dennis Roche, owner of Roche Salons at the Washington Harbour and the Sports Club LA, told us in yesterday's column that fashion and appearance are every bit as important as issues and resumes in this presidential beauty contest.

But one comment about Vice President Al Gore's hair "left me puzzled," writes reader Craig Grabowsky.

"I can't believe one of the respondents believes Mr. Gore has a better head of hair. With all that hairspray Mr. Gore is hiding a huge bald spot. His plastic comb over is just another example of his deceit."

Actually, Mr. Grabowsky, the vice president's expanding glabrousness has been an area of concern in the Gore camp, so much so that before the three televised presidential debates Mr. Gore's staff insisted that cameras not be placed immediately behind their candidate's head.

Appearance, as Mr. Roche reminded us yesterday, is everything.

Preference aside

Another indication that political polling has gotten out of hand is seen in the latest Fox News/ Opinion Dynamics survey, which asks, "Regardless of whom you support, who do you think will win in November?"

Dog insurance

Executives of The Washington Post are trying to stop the newspaper's guild from communicating with reporters and other members via e-mail.
On the heels of the guild's latest memo, "Working Like Digital Dogs," Patricia Dunn, the newspaper's vice president for labor relations, warned the union in writing to "immediately cease distributing Guild literature to Post employees via e-mail," saying it "clearly intruded into employees' working areas and inevitably interfered with employees during their working time."
Indeed, reacts the guild, "most of us here at The Post receive countless unsolicited messages every day," like when a subsidiary of The Washington Post Co. offered employees a 30 percent discount on toys and games.
Then there were the e-mails from the Post's benefits department, "offering all of us the unprecedented opportunity to buy health insurance for our pets, thank you very much."

Gore reinforcements

Reader Jay Brinkmann was driving down Foxhall Road in Washington this week and noticed a number of new "Gore 2000" posters "affixed to almost every telephone pole."
"My immediate thought was that it was a waste of money to put up Gore signs in the District, much less in the liberal bastion of Foxhall Road near Georgetown," he says. "Since I was stuck in traffic, I had a chance to read the fine print on the bottom of the posters and was surprised to see that each one said 'Paid for by the Democratic Party of Mississippi 2000.' "

Finicky bunch

The 106th Congress will go down in history as the Congress that wouldn't die.
Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott of Mississippi should have sounded the closing gavel almost three weeks ago. As it stands now, bickering lawmakers will be lucky to leave town on the Friday shuttle, perhaps sticking around until Monday eight days before Election Day.
Sen. Byron L. Dorgan, North Dakota Democrat, says he considers Mr. Lott a friend, and commiserated with the leader that "running this place is similar to that commercial on television where those leather-faced cowboys, wearing chaps and buckskin vests, riding those big old horses, are trying to herd cats through the sagebrush, talking about what a tough job that is."

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