- The Washington Times - Friday, September 1, 2000

Wanna see a sketch of Vincent W. Foster Jr.'s "possible murderer" only a click away from Monica Lewinsky's "Dear Handsome" note to President Clinton?
With the right road map, such sights can provide amusement as infinite as cyberspace itself for those long snowed-in weekends with only a mouse and a modem for company.
The new book "The Incredible Internet Guide to Scandals & Conspiracies" by Peter J. Weber provides a guide to some of the most whacked, offbeat and silly Web sites along with quite a few serious ones on the sorts of topics that tends to bring the more-interesting members of the cyber-community.
Frank Sinatra's death produced a whole page of jokes (https://jokezone.8m.com/frank.htm) about Ol' Closed Eyes … uh, Blue Eyes.
Q: What has broken legs and floats down the river?
A: People who tell Sinatra jokes.
But if you want to see Sinatra's California grave, look no farther than www.findagrave.com. Pictures of the Chairman of the Board's final meeting place, with inscription, grace the site along with the graves of Lizzie Borden, Franklin D. Roosevelt and plenty of other celebrities who neither gave their mother 40 whacks nor orchestrated Pearl Harbor.
A picture of Elvis Presley's grave is on the site, too, but the King of all conspiracy theories has the Pelvis still swiveling around as far away as Norway, although the pictures proving that Elvis is alive and well on Mars have had their debunkers.
Other debunkers of "the establishment" and "conventional wisdom" have their fun, too.
"Freethinkers" have a whole Web ring; heathens and pagans both have ".org" sites. But religious diversity is still not complete, with the heretics.org and schismatics.net addresses not producing any results. There's an available niche to the right entrepreneur here.
The "Satan" gig, though, is already completely taken, although not by the Prince of Darkness himself. Satan.com is just an e-mail link, proudly wearing its "worst of the Web" award; Satan.net is a porn site; and Satan.org is owned by the Satellite/Amateur Navigation Web site.
"What were you expecting, pitch forks and pointy tails?" the last site asks. Well, yeah.
But Satan, no matter how real, still doesn't stand a chance in the cyber-world of UFOs, aliens and Area 51, where even the Loch Ness monster has an official Web site (www.nessie.co.uk).
Some conspiracy buffs have enough of a sense of irony to know how they look to outsiders. One of the clearinghouses even proudly wears the title www.conspiracy-net.com.
It's important to keep an open mind, assures John Molnar's Web page, "Alien Conspiracy" (https://members.tripod.com/~AlienConspiracy). So important, in fact, that those who don't "will only serve those who conceal such things as UFOs and aliens and their involvement with them."
The conspiracy-net site is now running an on-line survey asking those very alert to the nefarious machinations of the global tricksters why the Russian submarine Kursk sank.
In addition to a Russian torpedo accident and poor maintenance, the choices include a collision with a British or American submarine, an attack by a British or American submarine and Russian government sabotage. Attempts to write in "attacks by Elvis-led aliens" were unsuccessful.
But we can be reasonably sure the person who wrote in the discussion space that "It vas you kaniving stinkin capitalistik Amerikan bozos who have sonk z kursk" was almost certainly trolling. Reasonably sure.
But the "capitalistik Amerikan bozos" don't get it all their own "stinkin" way others can "kanive" on the Web, too.
The Conch Republic, created by the 1982 "secession of the Florida Keys from the United States," keeps its own home page (www.conchrepublic.com) where it details its glorious fight for independence from the Yankee aggressors and its immediate demand for $1 billion in "foreign aid and war relief."
The Republic marks its independence every year with "a week-long celebration."
This is the Florida Keys, after all.

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