- The Washington Times - Friday, June 29, 2001

It seems Kwame Brown is making an awful mistake.
He is joining the franchise with two broken ribs instead of making plans to attend college in the fall.
It is sad, is what it is, so sad, just terrible.
Break out the black arm bands, Washington. Bow your heads and observe a moment of silence. Send your sympathy cards to Brown's mother, Joyce.
The mother undoubtedly is disappointed in her 19-year-old son, although it was hard to tell during the news conference in Tony Cheng's neighborhood yesterday. She hid her disappointment well. Blood apparently is thicker than drivel.
The mother used to pick up dirty towels for a living at a Days Inn while the son attended high school.
America slept easy because someone has to pick up the dirty towels and the son was receiving an education. But now, with the son going to the NBA and the mother able to retire from the hotel industry, America does not sleep so easy, possibly because there will be no one to pick up the dirty towels the next time a college-educated person stays at a Days Inn.
It is all kind of confusing, and depressing.
Pass a hanky. Sorry about the tear.
Brown is too young to understand. He is too young to see the big picture. He is going to miss out on so much important stuff.
He won't learn how to cheat and plagiarize, the two principal courses offered to the basketball players at the University of Minnesota at one time. He won't learn how to rape and pillage a community, which is taught at various institutions around the nation. He won't learn how to quit at the knee of Rick Pitino. He won't be able to listen to the politically correct frauds and blowhards who lecture in the classrooms, who condemn Columbus while praising the inner beauty of Rosie O'Donnell, the Miss Piggy of the talk show set.
Brown does not have to be a professional basketball player. He could go to college and become a scientist. He looks like the scientist type.
Brown is guaranteed to earn nearly $12 million the next three seasons. But what is money? Money is not important. Money does not buy you happiness. You would know that if you went to college. They teach you that in college. They teach you all kinds of deep stuff in college. They teach you that fellatio is not really a sexual activity, depending on how you define it with a roomful of lawyers.
It hurts so much to know that Brown will miss out on all these essential lessons of life. Worse, he is sending the wrong message to other teens around America. One of these years, kids will be leaving after junior high school to go to the NBA. And then what? America's quality of life possibly will plummet to Third World levels.
Unless Michael Jordan saves the day, Brown has no chance. Perhaps he already has invested his nearly $12 million in Florida swampland.
"I'll work hard," Brown says.
It sounds as though Brown wants to be like Mike, which is a good start.
If he went to college, he might want to be like Andy Katzenmoyer. He might enroll himself in an AIDS awareness class and have to write a term paper on all the condom companies in the marketplace.
Incidentally, Shawn Kemp could have used that class at Trinity Valley Junior College in Texas, if his seven children by six women indicate misinformed contraceptive practices.
Hopefully, the franchise with two broken ribs will educate Brown on the ways of the world. If he has not already squandered his money, perhaps Brown can afford to enroll in a class or two at Northern Virginia Community College. America would feel better if he did.
Brown was one of four high school players taken in the first round of the NBA Draft. Another high school player was taken in the second round. Only one of the six early-entry candidates from the prep ranks went undrafted.
The six make up only .00000002 percent of the nation's 283 million but take up much of the attention from the pro-education community.
It must be the nearly $12 million.
If Brown had a hockey stick or a baseball glove in his hand and was bound to some out-of-the-way location, America would not notice. America would not care.
With the exception of the self-serving suits who pimp for the shoe companies, America usually accepts that college is not for everyone.
Brown has nearly 12 million reasons not to be in college this fall, and if he ends up falling on his face, then he ends up falling on his face.
If only all the teens in the Class of 2001 could be dealing with the same predicament.
It is sad, so sad, so very sad.
Help us again, Dan Rather.

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