- The Washington Times - Monday, June 4, 2001

I am going to take it one thought at a time today:

I am still waiting for the Spurs to show up against the Lakers.

I guess this means the Zen master is on top of his hocus-pocus game this spring.

Whenever the Zen master communes with Chief Crazy Horse, the opposition goes into the fetal position.

The Expos are averaging three spectators a game, while Bud Selig is trying to figure it out.

The lack of quality and depth in women's golf was confirmed by the appearance of 13-year-old Morgan Pressel in the U.S. Open.

Bud Selig can relate to the French Canadians. English is the second language for both.

Jonathan Mendelsohn writes: "You are a lowlife idiot. How dare you insult the young men applying for a job in the NBA. If they have the talent to go to the NBA early, why not? If they get a job, great. If not, so be it. I cannot wait for you to be benched, then fired."

Response: All that anger is not good for your inner wellness.

The NBA ought to start testing the Zen master's magic dust.

Here's hoping Nikki McCray figures out her role in the next couple of seasons.

Loyal reader Wanda Oates of the District writes: "The push-off by Michael Jordan against Bryon Russell is a missed call. In addition to being a successful coach, I am a former college basketball referee who missed many calls. If you challenged every missed call in the NBA, then 99.9 percent of the game would have to be replayed. No, Jordan does not owe the Utah Jazz a Game 7."

Response: I don't have a big problem with the average push-off, but if you look at the tape closely, you can see Jordan jabbing Russell a couple of times before he delivered a vicious left hook, leaving Russell staggered and Jordan with the game-winning shot.

One possible starting lineup of the Wizards next fall: Patrick Ewing at center, Dennis Rodman at power forward, Charles Barkley at pleasantly plump small forward, Michael Jordan at shooting guard and Bob Cousy at point guard.

Nikki McCray is still a pretty good singer, even if something is getting lost in the translation with Aussie coach Tom Maher.

The Kings build their team around Chris Webber, and he is going to show his appreciation by shopping himself around the NBA.

Perhaps Bud Selig is having a "contraction," baseball's catchword at the moment.

Casey Martin's right leg appears to be getting worse by the day, so much so that he probably will have to play golf from a stretcher while hooked up to an IV bag.

I hope the Supreme Court tackles the Boy Owner's parking prices next.

Shut up and have another joint, Jason Williams.

It was Chamique Holdsclaw who suffered translation problems with Nancy Darsch last season.

As it turns out, the Lakers are led by Shaquille O'Neal, Kobe Bryant and Chief Crazy Horse, and not necessarily in that order.

Everyone is tickled that Chamique Holdsclaw decided to be in shape this season, which doesn't do much for Nancy Darsch.

Chief Crazy Horse apparently passed around the peace pipe with Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant, and the rest is Zen.

Loyal reader Maurice Marsolais of Fairfax writes: "Let's see if I have this straight: A group of Maryland students, ebullient because their team made the Final Four, started this bonfire, which got a little out of control. Or was it these students, embittered because their team did not win the national championship, built this bonfire with the intent to burn down the campus and four adjoining counties?"

Response: That is a fair question, and one best left to Maxine Waters, who in the past has demonstrated a keen understanding of the underlying causes that sometimes lead to a bonfire.

Who knew that Chief Crazy Horse would play such a pivotal role in these playoffs?

I would like to know Chief Crazy Horse's position on the Casey Martin issue.

As good as he was at Duke, and as solid as he might be in the NBA, Shane Battier is not a No. 1 pick.

There is this sentiment to embrace Shane Battier, because he embodied the student-athlete concept, but academics don't mean much to an NBA team in the dead of winter.

Juwan Howard eventually earned his undergraduate degree from Michigan, and you know what that did for the Wizards.

And finally, Chief Crazy Horse did not attend college, in case you were wondering.

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