- The Washington Times - Wednesday, April 10, 2002

Military stock
The nation's top military strategists took time out from the war on terrorism yesterday to testify before a hearing of the Senate Armed Services Committee although if you didn't know any better, you'd swear it was the Senate Banking Committee.
Transforming the armed forces to meet the challenges of the 21st century was the subject of the hearing. Toward that end, Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz, Joint Chiefs of Staff Vice Chairman Gen. Peter Pace and Joint Forces Commander in Chief Gen. William Kernan tossed around several new military buzzwords: spiral thinking, capability-based development, adaptive acquisition, capability cycle time and strategy-to-task analysis.
"It's nice to know you are all investment bankers now," Sen. Jack Reed, Rhode Island Democrat, couldn't help but interject.
"No, the other way around venture capitalists," corrected Mr. Wolfowitz.
"Given the recent condition of the stock market," said Democratic committee chairman Sen. Carl Levin of Michigan, "I am not so sure that you are moving in the right direction."

Blood money
Congress noted this week that the United States last year paid Iraq about $6.58 billion for oil money Iraqi President Saddam Hussein is no doubt now using to pay, at $25,000 a pop, to the families of each Palestinian suicide bomber.

Flunking history
We've obtained a letter from one U.S. congressman who is demanding an apology from Prince Bandar Bin Sultan, the Saudi Arabian ambassador to the United States, who sought to "legitimize" PLO leader Yasser Arafat and the Palestinian terrorists by likening them to George Washington and the American Colonists' struggle for independence.
"Even the slightest suggestion of moral equivalence between Arafat and George Washington is insulting, especially coming from someone who professes to be America's friend," Rep. J.D. Hayworth, Arizona Republican, writes this week to the Saudi prince and ambassador.
"The American people are owed an apology from you for these outrageous, untrue, and intemperate comments, and we trust such an apology with be made forthwith," Mr. Hayworth writes.
The congressman recalled that George Washington "did not send suicide bombers into the 18th-century equivalent of Sbarros pizza restaurants to blow up women, children, and civilians [and] if the ambassador's goal was to promote understanding and help find a solution, he failed miserably."
Mr. Hayworth says if an official apology is not forthcoming, he will lead an effort in Congress to condemn the prince's remarks and look for more "concrete" ways to express congressional outrage.

Alien stories
The chairman of the House Immigration Reform Caucus, Republican Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado, has compiled a list of 55 "unbelievable but true immigration stories." While we wish we could retell them all, here's an eye-opening half-dozen:
1) Immigrants who are detained on deportable offenses are often released with a summons to appear at a future hearing. The summons has become sarcastically known as a "run letter," because it simply prompts the alien to run from the law and disappear back into the community undetected.
2) The best place to buy fake U.S. documents to gain entry from Mexico is blocks away from the border crossing in Juarez. The best person to ask for help: the Mexican official guarding the gate, who personally advised Mr. Tancredo how to obtain and pay for them.
3) U.S. Border Patrol agents at the Juarez/El Paso, Texas, border sometimes ask border-crossers to step through the "drug-sniffing door," which is simply a wooden door frame on wheels.
4) The town of San Luis, Ariz., has only 3,000 residents but 20,000 post office boxes. The reason? It provides Mexican citizens living across the border with "permanent" U.S. addresses so that they can come to the U.S. and collect public benefits, i.e. welfare checks.
5) Juan Hernandez, head of the federal government's Office of Mexicans Living Outside Mexico, tells Mr. Tancredo that the Southwest U.S. and Northern Mexico "is not two countries; it's just a region."
6) Last summer, the Mexican government distributed "survival kits" to Mexicans near the border containing granola bars, water, first-aid supplies, and condoms presumably to make their upcoming illegal journeys into America easier.
Tomorrow: another half-dozen unbelievable but true immigration stories dealing with illegal aliens.

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