- The Washington Times - Wednesday, August 7, 2002

Rice recipe

Our recent column item about George W. Bush, unlike past Republican presidents, being in the pivotal position to attract blacks into the conservative fold, drew considerable response.

Political author Jeremy D. Mayer, we wrote, suggests in his upcoming book, "Running on Race," that the only hope for Mr. Bush to steal a sizable and for him, much-needed fraction of the black vote from Democrats in 2004 would be by running with a black vice presidential nominee, namely Colin L. Powell.

"It seems to me, Colin Powell made it clear before he does not wish to be president or vice president," writes Jim Mowrey of South Windsor, Conn. "If the GOP thinks they need a black on the ticket in 2004, who better than National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice? Miss Rice is eminently qualified, and her candidacy would also help win the female vote."

Dr. David P. Schwarz of Picayune, Miss., adds: "I think Condoleezza Rice is the better choice for vice president in 2004. Not only is she brilliant and knowledgeable, but, being a lady, kills two birds with one stone. I would not hesitate to vote for her as president in 2008, unless she has some truly awful secret that has not been dredged up by the opposition."

Her fans say this is highly doubtful, doctor, given Miss Rice's background: senior fellow at the Hoover Institution; provost of Stanford University; nuclear strategic planner for the Joint Chiefs of Staff; director of Soviet and East European affairs at the White House National Security Council; White House policy director for democratic reform in Poland and the former Soviet Union; co-founder of the Center for a New Generation; corporate board member for Chevron, the Hewlett Foundation and Charles Schwab; member of J.P. Morgan's international advisory council; Council on Foreign Relations member; National Endowment for the Humanities trustee; and fellow of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.

Miss Rice enrolled at the University of Denver at the tender age of 15, graduating cum laude at 19 with a degree in political science. She got her master's at the University of Notre Dame and doctorate from the University of Denver's Graduate School of International Studies. No doubt George W., the only man whose opinion will count, knows all this.


Uh-oh

"Exciting upcoming lecture," gripes an Environmental Protection Agency official about today's EPA seminar series presentation, "Saga of a Novel Sperm Biomarker."

In all seriousness, Gary R. Klinefelter, of the National Health and Environmental Effects Research Laboratory's Reproductive Toxicology Division, will reveal that "in recent years, there has been concern that semen quality is declining in men." A seminal study, you might say.


War story

Word that Senate Democratic leader Tom Daschle landed a $500,000 book advance to reflect on his two "turbulent" years as majority leader has led a few helpful Senate Republican aides to develop some appropriate chapter titles:

Chapter One: Constant Disappointment Can Get You Down; Chapter Two: 12 Senate Democrats Between Me and My Tax Increase; Chapter Three: I'll Have Syrup on My War Waffle; Chapter Four: Homeland Security in "The Byrd Cage"; and Chapter Five: Class Warfare is a Positive Agenda.


Amen

God isn't totally shunned in this 21st-century version of a school prayer for America. The author is unknown, but it was forwarded to me by Mary Jo Garreis:

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a federal matter now.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.

They've outlawed guns, but first the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant senior queen,

And the unwed daddy our senior king.

We get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here, I must confess;

When chaos reigns, the schools a mess.

So Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot, my soul please take.


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