- The Washington Times - Friday, July 5, 2002

London Times - up - Wrote that Henman looks like he's just come from the barber with mom
Henman - up - Responded to choirboy claims by swearing his way through quarterfinal
Red meat - down - Bet the Queen herself can't find a decent cut of cow in this country
Boris Becker - up - Entertainingly incoherent as a commentator we luff heem
Brolies - down - The sun made its monthly appearance at Wimbledon yesterday
Sister Act II - up - Kids from Compton go head-to-head in second straight Slam final
British men - down - Most fashion-challenged assortment of polyester fans on the planet

"I just wish he would get some help."
Oracene Williams on the arrest of a German man who had been stalking her daughter Serena.

"I was immaculate."
Serena Williams on her semifinal victory over Amelie Mauresmo.

"People are going to get bored about it."
Amelie Mauresmo on the Wimbledon final between Serena and Venus Williams, which will be the second straight Grand Slam final in which the sisters have met.

"I felt I should have been in the locker room a long time ago. In the end, he was playing the better tennis, but the fighting spirit came out of me."
Lleyton Hewitt on his five-set victory over Sjeng Schalken.

The Rover is a self-professed Anglophile who adores England, but the state of the television in this country continues to appall him. Late Wednesday evening, the Rover simply wanted to unwind in his hotel room with a few glasses of wine and some entertaining TV. The best he could find was a syndicated episode of the show "Coach." Are you kidding? There are only like six channels in this country, which should lead to more discriminating programming. Instead, it has led the BBC to defunct sitcoms. This show went off the air in the States about a decade ago, and nobody missed it. Are millions of Brits clamoring for Craig T. Nelson?
The Rover loves the fact that some folks are actually acting as if Oracene Williams' upcoming trip to Africa is newsworthy. Hey, the girls aren't going, so what's the point? Is Oracene going to feed the masses or put an end to tribal warfare? Maybe she's going to put on a yellow suit, splash a little more red tint in that 'fro and help open the new McDonald's in Dakar.
The quote of the day comes from Venus Williams. When asked what she thought her father would do if he encountered the German who was arrested this week at Wimbledon for stalking Serena, Venus rolled her eyes at the thought of her seemingly unstable father and responded: "Probably take him out to lunch."
London's famed tabloids disappointed the Rover with their lack of pithy, offensive headlines yesterday. He was expecting to see the coverage of the women's draw under the line "Raining Cats and Frogs" but was rewarded with atypically lifeless efforts.
Barker Davis

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