- The Washington Times - Monday, May 6, 2002

Towed and ticketed
In our last column, you'll recall, we wrote in detail about an organizer of the recent "Patriots Rally for America," held on the grounds of the Washington Monument, who had his pickup truck towed by Metropolitan Police from a legal parking space along Constitution Avenue.
What made this otherwise routine police action newsworthy was that the cops forgot where they towed Bruce Graham's truck, a vehicle that was soon labeled as "missing and unaccounted for" and later classified as "stolen."
Well, to make a very long two weeks short, we are now here to report that the cops have found Mr. Graham's truck sitting outside police headquarters on Indiana Avenue NW in a one-hour metered parking space. Affixed to its windshield were three parking tickets.
"I got a call Friday afternoon from a Lieutenant Butler," says Mr. Graham, "who told me he was standing next to my truck. And I said, 'I bet Chief [Charles H.] Ramsey will be glad to hear that,' and he told me that Chief Ramsey had personally sent him out to look for my truck. I asked him if he had seen a copy of The Washington Times today, and he said, 'I have it here in my hand right now.'
"They wouldn't let me see the parking tickets, didn't let me put my hands on them," Mr. Graham tells Inside the Beltway in a telephone interview from his home on Maryland's Kent Island.
We can understand why.

Tight clan
Sen. James M. Jeffords of Vermont shocked his fellow Republicans last year by abruptly quitting his party and handing control of the Senate to Democrats.
With that unprecedented coup in mind, John McClaughry, president of the free-market Ethan Allen Institute in Concord, Vt., tells the story of his unnamed relative who "maliciously" presented him with an autographed copy of Mr. Jeffords' autobiographical "My Declaration of Independence."
"I immediately offered it for sale on eBay," says Mr. McClaughry, "observing in the product description section that 'I want to get it out of the house before anybody sees it and thinks I actually spent money on it. It is autographed by The Hero himself, which might make it more valuable to some. Also enclosed: an autographed copy of my May 30, 2001, commentary in the Wall Street Journal explaining how Jeffords betrayed his party repeatedly over 30 years and why the Republican Party is better off with him gone. Please! Take this book off my hands.'
"The publisher's price was $14.95; I asked a minimum bid of $5. A week went by. At the end of the week, close of the auction, one bid had been received, for $5. I accepted it and sent the book off to the winning bidder, a gent in Centreville, Virginia, named Ralph D. Jeffords."

In closing
Here's our final collection of the most memorable political quotes of all time, selected from among the hundreds of favorite political one-liners submitted by Inside the Beltway readers from over 30 states (for some strange reason, most of the most memorable quotes were uttered during the Clinton administration). Thanks to everybody who participated:
"The road to tyranny, we must never forget, begins with the destruction of the truth." Bill Clinton
"Now I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to listen. I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." Bill Clinton
"That depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." Bill Clinton
"In just eight years I've given you enough material for 20 years." Bill Clinton's farewell address to the White House Correspondents' Association
"Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power." George Bernard Shaw
"If I were in the president's place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, listening to Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, 'How do I reload this damned thing?'" House Majority Leader Dick Armey of Texas
"It's hard to believe that someone can be Barbara Bush's son and still be a redneck." House Majority Leader Dick Armey of Texas
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." George W. Bush
"Insisting on the supremacy of the neocortex exacts a high price, because the unnatural task of a disembodied mind is to somehow ignore the intense psychic pain that comes from the constant nagging awareness of what is missing: the experience of living in one's body as a fully integrated physical and mental being." Al Gore
"I didn't inhale." Bill Clinton


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