- The Washington Times - Friday, December 5, 2003

Get back, Jack

“I love discourse. I’m dying to have my mind changed. I’m probably the only liberal who read ‘Treason,’ by Ann Coulter. …

“[I]f I were an Arab-American, I would insist on being profiled. This is not the time for civil rights. There are larger issues for Americans. …

“Believe it or not, I supported Richard Nixon on the issue of presidential privilege. How could anyone conceive of being the president of the United States and think that every single thing that you say or do can become a part of the public record? It just seems so stupid to me. A man needs a private life. With no ability to have a private life, one thing leads to another, and before you know it we have Bill and Monica. …

“I’m a pretty liberal Democrat, but I’m not after Bush the way all the rest of them are. I was alive in World War II. We turned off all the lights, as if people might come running up the beach. In that climate, what else were you going to do? We didn’t have a choice then. And we don’t really have one now. I don’t know what else Bush can do. We just have to see how it goes.”

Jack Nicholson, interviewed by Mike Sager, in the January issue of Esquire

Shave it, dude

“Awaken, brethren, to the scourge of our times: the goatee epidemic. It has uglified our captains of industry and facially deformed our matinee idols (shame, Mr. Affleck!) while trickling down to the great masses of men who surround us. … He is everywhere, Goatee Man, and he must be stopped.

“You know the type. An average man with mild aspirations to hipsterdom … and who wishes to present himself, accordingly, as a fashionable-but-not-obtrusively-so specimen of now maleness. And so he has opted for the absurd-looking but 2003-standard cosmetic arrangement of tidy goatee, tidy hairstyle … and aggressive eyewear (e.g. rimless spectacles, rhomboid tortoiseshells, tinted goggles). He is not flattered by this look — no one is — but he nevertheless promenades about assuredly … eminently self-satisfied for having made himself look like a myopic 1950s undergraduate who sends away for Smithsonian records … or, more to the point, like the nettlesome little turnip he is.”

David Kamp, writing on “Lose the Goatee,” in the December issue of GQ

Pedestal syndrome

“So now we learn America’s Sweetheart (Millennial version), 20-year-old Jessica Lynch, was supposedly captured by a camera cavorting topless at the appropriately named Fort Bliss with two soldier boys before she was sent to Iraq, and naturally the Big Bad Wolf, sleazoid publisher Larry Flynt, snagged the pix though he claims no plans to publish them in Hustler. …

“If you can’t see the pathological dynamic at work here, let me spell it out for you: We pedestalize a person, then we delight in knocking them down.

“This is high sport the world over. Look at … Prince Charles, bedeviled anew by rumor and innuendo, currently writhing on a scandal-skewer like bad barbecue over a synthetic gas flame. …

“To the myth-making machinery, Jessica Lynch became, albeit temporarily, a shining heroine of what passes for war these days. …

“Whatever Jessica Lynch’s journey, she’s suffered enough. … A young girl goes to war, and returns, forever changed. Whatever actually transpired, this alone is a tragedy of truly Shakespearean proportions. Please let her live the rest of her life in peace.”

Maralyn Lois Polak, writing on “Lynching Jessica,” Wednesday in WorldNetDaily at www.worldnetdaily.com

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