- The Washington Times - Friday, February 28, 2003

The former Shadow (Jesse Jackson) has decided to join Martha Burk's protest at the Masters in April.
They have compared talking points and come up with this: All they are saying is give a rich woman a chance.
Also this: No justice. No peace.
Give the former Shadow credit.
He is tireless. He is fearless. He is the hardest-working professional demonstrator in America, begging the pardon of Martin Sheen.
The former Shadow lands wherever there are sufficient cameras and notepads in place, wherever there is a gathering to record his rhymes, taunts and threats. God bless him. He rhymes with the best, and no disrespect to Johnnie Cochran, because if it doesn't fit, you must acquit, and that is all there is to it.
Go, O.J., go.
There is an element of symmetry in all this.
O.J. Simpson, in memory of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, remains in hot pursuit of the "real killers," believed to be duffers with the Colombian cartel who frequent many of the same country clubs as he does.
The 18 holes at Augusta National are a good hiding place.
Other than one week a year, no one goes there except the nearly dead.
Hootie Johnson, chairman of Augusta National, is against admitting a rich woman to his private sanctuary. However, he has not come out against admitting duffers with the Colombian cartel to his club, assuming they are male and the "real killers."
Cochran always could threaten legal action against the club, if it must come to that, and who knows?
The rousing struggle has come to the attention of the former Shadow, no small development in the plight of the lonely rich woman, the leading cause in sports journalism since last summer.
The plight of the lonely rich woman followed the post-September11 epiphany, and not a moment too soon.
How many times can a jock junkie take up the truly heroic cause of cops and firefighters?
So here's to the lonely rich woman. Here's to the former Shadow as well.
The former Shadow rarely strays too far from the action, and only then to retreat in prayer of his love child.
Ladies and gentlemen, warm up your vocal cords. Prepare your sound bites. This promises to be fun.
I ask you: What is happening to the world?
It is pretty sad when a poor rich woman cannot curry favor from one of Michael Moore's "Stupid White Men."
Of course, it takes one to know one, and Moore is fat on top of stupid, plus a fashion wreck.
I ask you again: How can you take a person seriously if he always wears the same potato sack, beat-up baseball cap and rumpled shirt?
No wonder some are reluctant to be interviewed by him unless there is a can of Lysol available.
Keeping down a rich woman is not the answer in 2003.
We have come too far as a people to shrug off this inherently divisive practice.
Alas, boys will be boys, Phil Donahue excluded, and it is time the boys of Augusta National recognize that it is not nice to exclude women from their off-colored jokes, beer-induced burps and their proclivity to be amused by a fellow member who sticks his hand underneath his armpit to create the hilarious sound of a bodily function.
The commitment of the former Shadow undoubtedly increases the heat on Augusta National. He has had considerable practice with raising his act to parody form, starting with when he appeared on "Saturday Night Live" and entertained the audience in New York City, the one-time "Hymietown," in his less-guarded view.
Burk sounded a reluctant note in Bowling Green, Ohio, after receiving the high-profile help of the former Shadow.
"I don't want a cast of thousands down there," she said. "I think it will get chaotic and we won't get our message across."
There is no chance of the message being overshadowed by the former Shadow.
Too many have adopted the crusade to let it be overlooked by a well-timed rhyme or public disturbance.
Women across the fruited plain are mostly united on this vexing issue, which is pulling at the fabric of what it means to be an American.
If a lonely rich woman cannot feel safe at Augusta National, where can a lonely rich woman feel safe? It is that simple, that clear to millions of hard-working women who stand as one behind Burk and now the former Shadow.
To borrow from Ronald Reagan: Mr.Johnson, tear down that wall.

Copyright © 2019 The Washington Times, LLC. Click here for reprint permission.

The Washington Times Comment Policy

The Washington Times welcomes your comments on Spot.im, our third-party provider. Please read our Comment Policy before commenting.


Click to Read More and View Comments

Click to Hide