- The Washington Times - Sunday, March 23, 2003

If "Shock and Awe" doesn't subdue the Iraqis, the U.S. might have to try "Shock and Artest."

Such a volatile fellow, this Ron Artest. He left St. John's after only two years, I hear, because the school didn't offer a degree in anger management.

By shooting at the wrong basket in pursuit of his first career triple-double, the Cavaliers' Ricky Davis gave new meaning to the term "offensive rebound."

Never let a war interfere with your own self-promotion. That, at least, appears to be the motto at ESPN. When hostilities broke out in the Middle East last week, the following advisory actually appeared at the bottom of my TV screen:
Program Alert
Military action has begun in Iraq
"Outside the Lines" nightly at 12:30 a.m. ET


Which means that someday we might see:
Program Alert
Meteor wipes out most of Eastern seaboard
"Around the Horn" weekdays at 5 p.m. ET


So I'm reading about Montreal Canadiens fans booing our national anthem the other night and I'm thinking: Maybe they would have felt differently if Celine Dion had been singing it.
Or Shania Twain.

Chipper Jones, who played golf with Tiger Woods recently, claims he "beat Tiger on one hole." I'm betting it was the 19th.

Elsewhere in baseball, in the April issue of Details magazine, Tommy Lasorda says regardless of what New Yorkers think, "Los Angeles is the sports capital of the world, and you can put that in big letters."
How about these letters, Tommy? R-A-M-S.

The "sports capital of the world" being bereft of an NFL team? That's like Venus de Milo being bereft of an arm.

Lead Paragraph of the Week:
CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) Deidra Lane was sentenced Tuesday to time served for her role in a 1998 bank robbery. In an unrelated case, she is charged with murdering her husband, former NFL running back Fred Lane.

Evander Holyfield vs. Roy Jones Jr.? Who's Evander going to fight after that, Billy Conn?

Holyfield's attorney says Evander "is interested in fighting for any of the three major [heavyweight] titles." I assume that includes the Golden Gloves.

Fascinating piece by Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette last week on agents who prefer not to represent NBA players. Said Eric Metz, who turned down the chance to audition for LeBron James: "There's this posse factor. It's definitely not in the football world. Quarterbacks might have one, but defensive linemen definitely don't have them. Every basketball player has about six posse guys who hang with them. You get all these people in your guy's ear; when you tell him something, there are six filters that confuse the message. In football, you don't have that interference."

You forget how much better the NCAA tournament used to be until you start flipping through a reference book and see that the '73 South Carolina team, which only made it as far as the Sweet 16, featured Alex English, Brian Winters, Mike Dunleavy and Kevin Joyce.
That's four future pros who played a combined 36 seasons in the NBA and ABA, scored 41,535 points and got beat 90-76 by Memphis State in the semifinals of the Midwest regional.

No matter what happens the rest of the way, Drew Nicholas' place in Maryland hoops history is secured.

The thing that bothers me most about the women's NCAA tournament is that Geno Auriemma is prettier than Pat Summitt.

It's probably just a coincidence, but not long after Stephen Davis fell out of favor with the Redskins, sportscaster Steve Davis fell out of favor with Channel 9.

On the subject of the Redskins, do they have any draft picks left, or can we all go fishin' that last weekend in April?

As quiet as things figure to be around here on Draft Day, it won't be nearly as silent as it was during the George Allen era. Consider:
From 1971 to '77, the Redskins had only one pick earlier than the fourth round the first of those years, when they took Texas wide receiver Cotton Speyrer in the second. Allen soon traded Speyrer to the Colts, though, in the deal for Roy Jefferson.
In '72, the Redskins sat out the first seven rounds before selecting running back Moses Denson of Maryland-Eastern Shore.
In '73, they had one pick in the first seven rounds, in '74 no picks in the first five rounds, in '75 and '76 no picks in the first four rounds and in '77 one pick in the first seven rounds.

Back by popular demand the Snyder Poll (one man's ranking of the various Snyders in the world of sports):
1. Matt Snyder, Northern Lehigh Middle School, bowling Slatington, Pa., phenom rolled games of 236, 234 and 181 earlier this month for a 651 series. His high series is 670, and he has four games over 230.
2. Jenn Snyder, University of Akron, women's volleyball Co-MVP of the team after racking up 549 digs to help the Zips to a program-record 26 victories. Was also a second team All-Mid-American Conference selection.
3. Fran Snyder, Rochester Institute of Technology, men's basketball Voted Rookie of the Year in the Empire 8 after averaging 12.7 points for the 20-8 Tigers. Shot 51.5 percent from the floor and 45.2 from the 3-point line.
4. Whitney Snyder, Duquesne, golf/tennis Dukes grad (and current tennis coach) was in the most recent class to be inducted into the school's Sports Hall of Fame. Captained the golf and tennis squads as a senior in '82-83 and was All-Atlantic 10 in both sports.
5. Derek Snyder, Notre Dame, fencing Finished seventh in the NCAAs last year to earn All-American status. Compiled a 32-7 record for the Fighting Irish.
Honorable mention: Dan Snyder, Redskins, owner. (His free agent blitz is the talk of the NFL, but is it in the best interests of the team?)

And finally …
News item: The Tour de France might start in the U.S. in 2008.
Comment: I can't decide if the French are trying to improve relations with us or get even for EuroDisney.

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