- The Washington Times - Sunday, February 22, 2004

If the Caps unload any more players, they won’t have enough left for a decent game of shinny.

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Folks are feeling so insecure at Piney Orchard, I hear, that even the Zamboni driver is afraid to answer his phone.

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George Foreman wants to make another comeback, provided he can drop 50 pounds and get down to 225. He’s has gotta be kiddin’ us, right? I mean, George hasn’t been 225 since his second trimester.

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Fifty pounds. That’s practically a junior flyweight.

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A better goal for George would probably be to bowl 225.

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Did you see that the Lingerie Bowl has given birth to the Lingerie League, which will begin play this year? Not to bum you out or anything, but they’ve already outlawed the naked bootleg.

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Wonder if one of the “celebrity quarterbacks” will be Y.A. Tittle.

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The four teams so far are the Chicago Passion, Los Angeles Dreams, New York Euphoria and Dallas Desire. Dallas Desire Sounds like the star of an adult movie on Spectravision.

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I’ve got a feeling that when it says “push-ups” on the practice schedule, it’ll mean something entirely different.

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It would be great if some club won all its games. Then I could write that it was undie-feated.

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The champion, by the way, will be awarded the prestigious D Cup.

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The Lingerie League: No concussions, only camisoles! No torn ligaments, only ripped babydoll sleepwear!

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Just wondering: How did we get from Alan Ameche standing and waving on “The Ed Sullivan Show” after the 1958 NFL title game to the Patriots’ Matt Light appearing on “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?”

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Methinks a third-round pick is a reasonable price to pay for Mark Brunell (not that anyone at Redskin Park asked me).

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Can anyone name another left-handed quarterback who went for a No.3?

How about the University of Maryland’s own Boomer Esiason? That’s what the Jets gave the Bengals for him in 1993. He was a touch younger than Brunell, though going on 32 instead of going on 34. Four years later, after moving on to the Cardinals, he threw for 522 yards, the third-highest total in NFL history, in an overtime game against the Redskins.

Five more QBs who were dealt for a third-rounder (and only a third-rounder):

1. David Woodley, 1984 (from the Dolphins to the Steelers).

2. Jeff Kemp, 1986 (Rams/Lions).

3. Stan Humphries, 1992 (Redskins/Chargers).

4. Heath Shuler, 1998 (Redskins/Saints).

5. Aaron Brooks, 2001 (Packers/Saints).

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Clubs have gotten all sorts of things for a third-round pick. For example:

1980 The Chargers got coach Don Coryell. (Coryell, fired after the ‘79 season, was still being paid by the Cardinals, who demanded compensation.)

1991 The Broncos got OT Harvey Salem from the Lions.

1993 The Seahawks got DT Keith Millard from the Vikings.

1993 The Raiders got RB Gaston Green from the Broncos.

1993 The Browns got DT Jerry Ball from the Lions.

1995 The Eagles got FB Kevin Turner from the Patriots.

1998 The Ravens got RB Errict Rhett from the Bucs.

1998 The Cardinals got RB Adrian Murrell from the Jets.

1998 The Colts got club president Bill Polian from the Panthers. (Another compensation deal.)

2000 The Cowboys got WR James McKnight from the Seahawks.

2003 The Patriots got a future second-rounder from the Dolphins.

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Also, the Redskins, you may recall, got Ricky Sanders from New England for a No.3 in 1987. That swap didn’t work out too badly; Sanders caught 414 passes while in Washington.

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Once the transaction is complete, Brunell will be the sixth starting quarterback in recent memory to be acquired by the Redskins in a trade. The others (and what the Redskins gave up):

Sonny Jurgensen, 1964 Came from Philadelphia along with DB Jimmy Carr for QB Norm Snead and DB Claude Crabb.

Billy Kilmer, 1971 Wheelin’, dealin’ George Allen got him from New Orleans for LB Tom Roussel and the Redskins’ fourth- and eighth-round picks (which the Saints used to select C Richard Winther and DB James Elders).

Joe Theismann, 1974 Obtained from Miami for a 1976 No.1 (LB Larry Gordon).

Mark Rypien, 1986 On the day of the 1986 draft, Bobby Beathard traded C/OG Rick Donnalley to Kansas City for a sixth-round pick. The pick turned out to be Rypien.

Brad Johnson, 1999 The Redskins sent Minnesota their first- and third-rounders in 1999 and their second-rounder in 2000. (The players drafted in those spots were QB Daunte Culpepper, LB Joey Porter and DE Michael Boireau. Porter went to the Steelers, who swung a deal with the Vikings for the choice.)

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Allen once got in big trouble with the NFL for trading a third-round pick. Why? Because he traded it and two others twice. This was the Redskins’ No.3 in 1973. George originally sent it to Buffalo in 1971 as partial payment for defensive end Ron McDole. Later he included it in a package for San Diego cornerback/kick returner Speedy Duncan. The league, for whatever reason, didn’t catch on for almost a year.

Allen claimed it was an innocent mistake made during the blizzard of activity after he became coach. Commissioner Pete Rozelle was unmoved, however. He pointed out that George had pulled the same stunt when he was with the Rams, “but there were no fines because the opposing clubs worked out an immediate settlement with him.” This time Rozelle fined the Redskins $5,000, made them give the Chargers an extra pick for Duncan and reamed Allen out in front of the owners during a special session in New York.

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Anything else you’d like to know about quarterbacks and third-round picks?

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Fans of Rich Tandler’s “Redskins from A to Z (Volume One),” a game-by-game history of the team, might want to take a look at his latest opus, “Gut Check: The Complete History of Joe Gibbs’ Washington Redskins.” It’s available for pre-ordering at www.GutCheckBook.com, where you can also get a sneak preview of the book. Price: $11.95.

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More and more, I’m envisioning a first-round NIT game between Maryland and GW.

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Now that they’re in the same conference, the Richmond Times-Dispatch reports, Virginia and Virginia Tech are getting ready to cash in on their rivalry by selling products that denigrate each other. (Collegially, of course.) For instance, a T-shirt is about to go on sale in Charlottesville that says, “Friends don’t let friends go to Virginia Tech.” (A similar one tweaking UVa will soon be available in Blacksburg.)

Financially strapped athletic departments, it seems, will exploit just about any potential revenue stream. Or as Tech licensing director Locke White told the Times-Dispatch: “There’s money in kicking mud on each other.”

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Utah State’s athletic director, Rance Pugmire, is on administrative leave after being arrested on a DUI charge. The news isn’t all bad for him, though. He’s still eligible to compete on the NASCAR circuit (as Scott Wimmer was last week at Daytona).

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And finally

News item: Rasheed Wallace plays all of one game for the Atlanta Hawks before being traded again, this time to the Detroit Pistons.

Comment: Did the Hawks actually have a jersey made up for him, or did they just play Shirts and Skins that night?

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