- The Washington Times - Thursday, November 11, 2004

This tax-happy city has been moved to the United States of Canada, where the enlightened blue bloods have come down with a bad case of the blues after the presidential election nine days ago.

The latte-sipping lefties sifting through their feelings of despair in all the fashionable cafes and watering holes in the 20007 ZIP code have decided they no longer can live in the red-state world of simpletons and intolerant extremists, religious or otherwise.

No day passes without political fighting words being exchanged, punctuated with the smug arrogance of the vanquished. They know what you possibly cannot know. They hurt so badly. They feel so much. Their feelings are real, too, far more persuasive than a cold blast of the obvious.

The same old talking points are being dispensed by these dour faces. They want to return to the warm glow of the misleading exit polls on Election Day, when affirmation of Sen. John Kerry, Michael Moore, higher taxes, the United Nations and the nanny state seemed so close they almost could touch it.

There is no call to reach across the aisle among these true believers now, only a conviction that nearly 60 million voters were wrong about President Bush.

In what was called the most important presidential election of our lifetime, the letting-go process is turning out to be incredibly arduous for the crestfallen. In the most political of all enclaves in America, the chatter remains as strident as ever. These forlorn souls do not need a recount. They need a 12-step plan to salve the awfulness lurking in their wounded psyches. They need a group hug, if not sympathetic immigration officials in Canada.

This has come to be the election that refuses to acquiesce to a sense of accord. The vitriol-spouting “re-defeat Bush” crowd has taken to spraying the red states with unkind names. They never would think of employing those names with Osama bin Laden’s head-removing vermin. That would not be nice. They would not want to offend the virgin-seeking nuts who endeavor to kill us. They might be ordered to turn in their multicultural cards.

Amusing as it is, they embrace multiculturalism from behind their security-alarm systems in the milquetoast neighborhoods of the nation’s capital. Their notion of multiculturalism is to slip a dollar to the vagrant who gives the neighborhood that genuinely urban feel. If the genuine article were not readily available, they would hire someone to play the part.

They are phonies of the worst kind, just smart enough to limit their prejudices to “rednecks” and born-again Christians. They are just dumb enough not to see the contradiction. Their definition of diversity comes with footnotes, qualifiers and long-winded explanations.

Their mood is bound to improve one of these years, assuming they eventually get in touch with their inner torment with the help of an experienced psychotherapist.

Until then, they are left with their vast brain power and a strong sense of superiority.

They are not ready to talk. They are stuck on shout.

“Bush is still an idiot,” is the prevailing chorus this week.

The depth of that insight is only stunning because of its flaccidness.

Perhaps it helps the aggrieved feel better.

They are the sizable minority, the city’s 90 percent who voted for the long-faced senator from Massachusetts.

They have come to accept the onerous taxes and inefficient public works of a city that seemingly functions at two speeds, slow or not at all. They cannot possibly understand why the red states are disinclined to embrace the political tenets of the People’s Republic of the Blue Precincts.

Lots of Americans, believe it or not, would recoil if an advisory neighborhood commission and a do-good citizens association told them they could not build a roof deck on their home. This is freedom in the bluest of the blue.

There is no evidence of a coming together in this stretch of the blue.

There apparently is only next time.

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