- The Washington Times - Thursday, March 17, 2005

Bono may have taken himself out of the running for the presidency of the World Bank, but the prospect was taken seriously enough, and for long enough, to put us in mind of five other potential celebrities-turned-bureaucrats:

David Bowie (Treasury secretary) — The guy issued debt (so-called Bowie Bonds) to the tune of $55 million in “asset-backed securities” pegged to the British rock star’s future earnings. What further qualification do you need to manage the finances of a country that spends like a drunken sailor and counts on the rest of the world to keep betting on it?

Sean Penn (U.N. ambassador) — Critics of conservative U.N. ambassador nominee John Bolton may find the outspoken actor a more suitable choice, as Mr. Penn would never stoop so low as to favor his country over any other.

Willie Nelson (IRS commissioner) — The country singer has intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the Internal Revenue Service. If this doesn’t work out, Mr. Nelson could always bank-shot his expertise in, er, agriculture.

Joan Rivers (FDA commissioner) — We can’t think of a better choice to run the Food and Drug Administration. She has, after all, confessed to having undergone every possible alteration to her person and taking every diet pill known to man.

P. Diddy (ATF director) — He loves cigars, swims in Cristal and is no stranger to guns. We smell a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives directorship.

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