- The Washington Times - Friday, March 25, 2005

Poor Barry.

He is tired, so tired, so very tired, just tired of all of it, tired of the media, tired of the mistress, tired of the bum knee, tired of the BALCO scandal and perhaps even tired of himself, but truly tired, really tired, plus tired, tired, tired, 14 references in all to being tired during a disconsolate interview that has aired a zillion times on ESPN this week.

So let’s raise our index finger skyward.

We won.

We have Barry’s say-so on that.

“You wanted me to jump off a bridge. I finally did,” Bonds said. “You finally brought me and my family down. So now go pick a different person.”

Sorry, Barry.

You are not the victim here.

The victims are too numerous to list, starting with all the pitchers who surrendered home runs to your synthetic self.

You and the rest of the users of the cream and clear endeavored to make a mockery of two of the most hallowed numbers in professional sports: 755 and 61. The former is in jeopardy, the latter forever buried.

Bud Selig and his minions can spin the steroid scandal however they like, but history will not be kind to this era in baseball. It always will be a tainted era, always suspect, the achievements always coming wrapped in qualifiers, footnotes, asterisks and a warning to process the information with caution.

This is not a game’s distinct moment in time. This is a cheap mystery novel.

Victim? You want a victim?

Frank Robinson hardly relishes his diminishing place on the all-time home run list and has made no secret of it in spring training. He recognizes the sham element of the home run binge, the folly, the insult to those who hit the long ball the old-fashioned way, with hard work and talent.

There are victims galore, and truths keep emerging.

Yet Barry apparently expects everyone to let it drop, let it be, what is done is done, in the past, keep it there and look forward to a new day. Barry is a joke, a twit.

Hey, Barry, let’s say someone swindles thousands of dollars from you in a business deal.

Are you going to let it rest? Are you going to keep it in the past? What would you say after authorities brought the crook to justice? Let it drop? Let it be? Let’s start fresh? What is done is done? Let’s not make a big deal out of it?

Barry, Barry, quite contrary, how does your body grow?

Barry is a swindler of a different sort, stealing records that resulted in vast financial rewards at the bargaining table.

The illusion of fair play is no more.

We all watched the bad acting of Mark McGwire on Capitol Hill last week.

Pull out the violin and hanky.

Sniffle. Sniffle.

McGwire did not want to discuss the past. No way.

He wanted to discuss everything but the reason he was called to testify under oath on Capitol Hill.

All too many of the responses of those unable to cling to plausible deniability have a certain similarity.

The past is the past, way in the past, so far in the past that it is too difficult to remember.

Barry, McGwire and Sammy Sosa, you can have all your home runs.

Leave it to a seam head to attempt to determine which ones were natural and which ones were synthetic, or in Sosa’s case, which ones came from a corked bat.

All too many commentators ridicule professional wrestling — and not undeservedly at times — because of its make-believe competitions.

Ask yourself this: What is the difference between professional wrestling and baseball?

Everyone is in on the lie in professional wrestling.

Yes, we know. The cream and the clear are in the past, and Barry is so awfully tired, and it is the fault of the media.

What gall.

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