- The Washington Times - Sunday, October 9, 2005

Can’t wait to see how the Redskins defend Dwayne Carswell, Denver’s 305-pound pass-catching machine.

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One possibility for Gregg Williams: Having Joe Salave’a, the similarly shaped Samoan, cover him.

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Carswell, a tight end-turned-offensive lineman, scored two — count ‘em, two — touchdowns against Jacksonville last week. Which raises the question: Is there really anything wrong with the Redskins’ red-zone offense that a couple of fades to Ray Brown wouldn’t fix?

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The league doesn’t keep track of these things, unfortunately, but Carswell is probably the first 300-pound guy in NFL history to score twice in a game. Plenty of 300-pounders, of course, have scored twice after a game.

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These are strange football times we live in, you have to admit. After all, nobody has more touchdown grabs in the last two Super Bowls than Patriots linebacker Mike Vrabel (two).

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FYI: The heaviest Redskin to score a TD weighed 417 pounds. Well, actually, it was two Redskins: Linebacker Rod Stephens hoisted Darrell Green and carried him the last few steps on Darrell’s game-winning interception return against the Lions in 1995.

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From a Dan Bickley column last week in the Arizona Republic: “An estimated 12million Americans are playing fantasy football. The disease is so out of control that, on a recent Sunday, employee computers at Denver International Airport logged more than 30,000 hits to football Web sites.”

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Maybe I should have flown into Colorado Springs yesterday and driven to Denver.

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“It didn’t affect the safety or security of our passengers,” an airport spokesman told Bickley. “The only thing it could’ve done was slow down some work. The main thing is, it was city time and company time being used for private use.”

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And if you believe that, I’ve got a fantasy bass fishing league I want you to join.

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Not that Chris Cooley isn’t a swell tight end, but wouldn’t Maryland’s Vernon Davis look great in Redskins burgundy?

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The season-ending injury to Chad Pennington has the Jets preparing for the worst. Coach Herman Edwards, I hear, huddled with his lawyer last week to draw up his Last Will and Testaverde.

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News item: A member of the VMI band, upset that his team is losing to Duke, tackles the Blue Devil mascot.

Comment: Good thing he didn’t accost the Coastal Carolina Chanticleer. In addition to a possible assault charge, he could have been hit with a personal fowl.

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The mascot, student Charlie Suwankosai, “declined comment,” the Greensboro News and Record reported. “The Blue Devil can’t talk, he explained.”

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The Blue Devil can’t talk, he explained.

That’s gotta be the No Comment of the Century — if not the No Comment of All Eternity.

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I wonder whether you can get out of testifying to a grand jury by playing the Mascot Card.

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Number of the Week: 1,129.

That’s how many intentional street fires were set in Morgantown, W.Va., from 1997 to 2003, the most in the nation.

“Students celebrating victories by the [West Virginia] Mountaineers have a long tradition of setting fires in the streets, often with cheap furniture dragged from their rental homes,” the Associated Press says.

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You have to like the White Sox’s chances in the American League Championship Series — especially if they keep getting this kind of production out of Ray Liotta.

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I can’t decide which is worse: San Diego ace Jake Peavy breaking a rib during the team’s division-clinching celebration or the Padres actually celebrating their 82-80 season.

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On the subject of making merry, Neal from Gaithersburg e-mails: Have you noticed baseball players wearing swimming goggles in locker room celebrations — so champagne can’t be sprayed in their eyes? Who on earth dreamed that up?

Dear Neal: I’m guessing it was Ed Sprague, the third baseman for the Blue Jays’ championship teams in ‘92 and ‘93. Ed, you may recall, was married to Kristen Babb, who won the gold medal in synchronized swimming at Barcelona.

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Department of Corrections: The Astros’ Rogers Clemens won the major league ERA title this year with a mark of 1.87 — 15 years after he won his first title. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, that’s more than double the previous biggest gap of six years, set by the Braves’ Warren Spahn (1947 and 1953).

The Elias folks, who do wonderful work, seem to have overlooked Washington’s own Walter Johnson. Johnson also won major league ERA titles six years apart — in 1913 (1.14) and again in 1919 (1.49). And the span would have been seven years if ERA had been kept as a statistic by the American League in 1912 (as it was in the National League). He posted a figure of 1.39 for the Senators that season, more than a half-run better than the New York Giants’ Jeff Tesreau (1.96), the NL champ.

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Hey, if I don’t stick up for the “Big Train,” who will?

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Question for Caps owner Ted Leonsis, the America Online mogul: Does AOL now stand for Alexander Ovechkin’s Line?

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Elsewhere in the NHL, the Rangers’ Dale Purinton was suspended 10 games for gouging the eye of the Bruins’ Colton Orr. Purinton plans to spend his time away from the game pondering the errors of his ways and working on his sleeper hold.

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And here we thought the new NHL was going to be kinder and gentler. Heck, the preseason wasn’t even over, and already somebody was trying to re-enact the torture scene from “Braveheart.”

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If Gary Bettman really wanted to clean things up, he’d make Purinton wear an eye patch for the rest of the season.

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On second thought, scratch that idea. It might improve Purinton’s shooting percentage.

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Let the record show that less than two weeks after George Archer, the former Masters champ, died at 65, the PGA Tour returned to Harding Park Golf Course in his home town of San Francisco — site of his first tour victory, the 1965 Lucky Invitational. Harding Park played host to the tournament seven times in the 1960s and is also the site of the city golf championship, which George won in 1963, the year before he turned pro. He was low amateur in the Lucky Invitational three straight years (1961-63).

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Other notable winners of the Lucky: Gary Player (1961), Gene Littler (‘62), Chi Chi Rodriguez (‘64), Ken Venturi (‘66) and Billy Casper (‘68).

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I ask you: Where but the Sunday Column can you find out important, potentially life-changing information like that?

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And finally …

Jose Luis Castillo couldn’t get down to 135 pounds Friday, making his much-awaited rematch with lightweight champion Diego Corrales a nontitle bout.

Castillo was fined $120,000 by the Nevada State Athletic Commission — or about $119,970 more than the cost of a George Foreman Grill.


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