- The Washington Times - Friday, April 21, 2006

Count me as an admirer of South Asia’s double-threat female filmmakers Gurindher Chadha and Mira Nair (find my profile of the latter here).

They know their way behind the camera as well as any dude directors and, given the subcontinent’s colonial history, they know British literature better than most Brits.

But frankly I’m horrified at the prospect of Chadha’s forthcoming movie version of the old TV show “Dallas“, which is due in 2007 and will star John Travolta (ugh) as “conniving Texas oil baron” J.R. Ewing and Jennifer Lopez (uggghhh) as wife Sue Ellen. I don’t remember the show all that much, I’ll admit. It was past my bedtime. I do recall my mom letting me stay up long enough to see the overhead shot of Texas stadium in the opening credits, as well as her bottomless disgust at the season that “turned out to be one long nightmare“.

All I know is that the combination of the utterly spent Travolta and the never-worth-much-to-begin-with Lopez is enough to devastate the best-intentioned of movie projects, let alone one that depends on the audience appreciating the campy irony of big-screen TV updates.

Theyhaven’t worked out well, in my opinion.

And, since you asked, I’m indeed feeling a suspicious vibe about where they’re going with this “conniving Texas oil baron” business, even in what looks to be a thoroughly disposable comedy. You may call me paranoid, because it’s Friday, delirium is setting in, and I am.

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