- The Washington Times - Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Before I made the trip from Tennessee to the District a few weeks ago, I had a thousand questions racking my brain. What was the work environment going to be like? What was the commute going to be like? And of course, what are the girls going to be like?

Being the Southerner that I am, I have to admit a certain amount of pride for the girls I’ve left back home. I’ve heard it said that after touring the world, the Beatles claimed the prettiest girls were in the southern United States. Up to this point, I haven’t found much reason to disagree.

So, I guess it is a natural presumption for me to compare every girl I meet here in D.C. to a Southern girl whom I’ll simply call Haley.

For me, Haley epitomizes the perfect attributes of a girl. She’s smart. She’s beautiful. She’s everything any lonely intern could ever want.

In my free time away from work and school, I always try to find a Haley. For the most part, what I’ve found in the first few weeks is a pretty crazy mix of charged politics in business suits.

First, there are the Republican girls. I get a little wary around them because I never can be sure if they are serious about the bumper sticker that reads, “When guns are outlawed, I’ll be an outlaw.” Or my favorite: “Peace … through superior firepower.”

Then there are the Democrat girls. They can be frightening too because I never know if I should hold the door for them. Usually they just smile and say thanks like Haley would, but I got a glare from one that would make anybody start running.

Finally there are the third-party girls. Some are part of the Libertarian Party, some are Green Party followers and some are loyal to parties I didn’t even know existed. These girls never take no for an answer. They take on enormous odds in everything, so I’ve found its best to just move out of their way.

As much as I love D.C., I have to admit a little bit of loneliness for Southern girls.

Joshua Rutledge is in the Class of ‘08 at Samford University in Birmingham, Ala.

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